Make index cards
It’s inevitable — at the eleventh hour your child will say, “I need index cards for school tomorrow.” If you don’t have any, use paper plates and a ruler. Measure out a 3 x 5 or 4 x 6 (A7 or A6) card on the plate and cut. Use the first card as a template for the rest.
Protect stored dishes
Prevent stored dishes from clattering and breaking, especially when you are moving, by inserting a paper plate between each dish when packing.
Paint can drip catcher
Painters scrape the paintbrush on the side of the can to remove excess paint. To prevent drips from falling on the floor, place a paper plate under the can.
Make a snowman decoration
When the cold wind blows and cabin fever peaks, paper plates can provide an inexpensive, creative outlet for kids. They can use them to make masks, mobiles, and seasonal decorations. To create a cute winter snowman, use two paper plates. Cut the rim off one plate to make it smaller. Staple the smaller plate to the larger plate, creating a head and body. Make boots and hat out of black construction paper and mittens out of red paper and glue on. Decorate the face with googly eyes, buttons, pipe cleaners, or draw on features with crayon or marker.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.