Clean up a nail spill
Keep a strong magnet on your workbench. Next time you spill a jar of small items like nails, screws, tacks, or washers, save time and energy and let the magnet help pick them up for you.
Prevent a frozen car lock
Here’s a great way to use refrigerator magnets during the bitter cold of winter. Place them over the outside door locks of your car overnight and they will keep the locks from freezing.
Keep desk drawer neat
Are your paper clips all over the place? Place a magnet in your office desk drawer to keep the paper clips together.
Store a broom in a handy place
Why run to the hall closet every time you need to sweep the kitchen? Instead, just use a screw to attach a magnet about halfway down the broom handle. Then store the broom attached to the side of your refrigerator between the fridge and the wall, where it will remain hidden until you are ready to use it.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.