Grip a stubborn jar lid
It’s a jarring experience when you can’t open a jar of peanut butter or olives. If the lid just won’t come loose, don some rubber gloves. You’ll get a better grip to unscrew the top.
Make an ice pack
If you need an ice pack in a hurry, fill a kitchen rubber glove with ice. Close the wrist with a rubber band to contain water from the melting ice. When you’re done, turn the glove inside out to dry.
Clean your knickknacks
Need to dust that collection of glass animals or other delicate items? Put on some fabric gloves — the softer the better — to clean your bric-a-brac thoroughly.
Dust a chandelier
If your chandelier has become a haven for spiderwebs and dust, try this surefire dusting tip. Soak some old fabric gloves in window cleaner. Slip them on and wipe off the lighting fixture. You’ll beam at the gleaming results.
Remove cat hair
Here’s a quick and easy way to remove cat hair from upholstery: Put on a rubber glove and wet it. When you rub it against fabric, the cat hair will stick to the glove. If you are worried about getting the upholstery slightly damp, test it in an inconspicuous area first.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.