Use as a decongestant
Is your nose stopped up? Are your ears plugged? Do you have a cold? Forget the over-the-counter medications. Nothing gets things flowing again faster than some cayenne pepper. Sprinkle it on your food and grab some tissues.
Keep colors bright
That new cherry-red shirt you just purchased is fantastic, but just think how faded the color will look after the shirt has been washed a few times. Add a teaspoon of pepper to the wash load. Pepper keeps bright colors bright and prevents them from running too.
Get bugs off plants
There’s nothing more frustrating than a swarm of bugs nibbling at your fledgling garden. Just when things are starting to pop up, the bugs are there, chowing down. Mix black pepper with flour. Sprinkle around your plants. Bugs take a hike.
Deter deer from your garden
Your freshly budding garden seems as if it’s ringing the dinner bell for the neighborhood deer. They’ll find another place to dine if you spray your bushes with a cayenne and water mixture.
Keep ants out of the kitchen
Two or three of your annual summer visitors have invaded your kitchen. Those ants are looking for sugar. Give them some pepper instead. Cayenne pepper sprinkled in spots where the ants are looking, such as along the backs of your countertops or on your baseboards, will tell them that no sugar is ahead.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.