If you have: Grimy kitchen walls
If you have: A splatter-filled microwave
If you have: A gross kitchen garbage can
If you have: Crusty, burned-on oven spills
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If you have: Cloudy, unsightly shower soap scum
If you have: A less-than-tidy toilet bowl
If you have: Filthy windows
If you have: Pet hair everywhere
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.