Salt removes red-wine carpet stains.
Black pepper brightens tablecloths.
Ketchup polishes silver.
Hot towels uncork a stubborn wine bottle.
Spaghetti sets mood lighting.
Aluminum foil sharpens scissors.
Baking soda removes coffee stains on fine china.
Ice cubes remove stuck-on candle wax.
Toothpaste removes water rings.
Walnuts erase scratches on wood.
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.