Slice slivers of cheese or chocolate
When you need cheese slivers that are thinner than you can cut with a knife, or you want to decorate a cake with fine curlicues of chocolate, reach for the vegetable peeler.
Sharpen your pencils
No pencil sharpener handy? A vegetable peeler will do a fine job of bringing your pencil to a point.
Soften hard butter fast
You’re ready to add the butter to your cake mix when you discover that the only sticks you have are as hard as a rock. When you need to soften cold, hard butter in a hurry, shave off what you need with a vegetable peeler. You’ll have soft butter in moments.
Renew scented soaps
Ornamental scented soaps are a great addition to the powder room because they make the room smell great as well as adding a decorative touch. But after a while, the surface of exposed ornamental soaps dries out, causing the scent to fade. To renew the scent, use a vegetable peeler to skim off a thin layer, revealing a new moist and fragrant surface.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.