Remove chestnut shells
An easy way to remove the shells from chestnuts is to use the pointed end of a bottle opener to pierce the tops and bottoms of the shells and then boil the chestnuts for 10 minutes.
Cut packing tape on cartons
Can’t wait to open that long-awaited package on your doorstep? If you don’t have a penknife handy, just run the sharp end of a bottle opener along the tape. It should do the job quite nicely.
Deploy as a shrimp deveiner
If you don’t have a small paring knife on hand when you’re getting ready to devein a batch of shrimp, don’t worry. Just use the sharp end of a bottle opener. It just happens to be the perfect shape to make this messy chore a breeze.
Scrape barbecue grill
Looking for an easy way to clean off the burned remnants of last weekend’s meal from your barbecue grill? If you have a bottle opener and a metal file, you’re in luck. Simply file a notch about 1/8-inch (3 millimeters) wide into the flat end of the opener and you’re ready to go.
Loosen plaster or remove grout
It may not be the carpenter’s best friend, but the sharp end of a bottle opener can be handy for removing loose plaster from a wall before patching it. It’s great for running along cracks, and you can use to undercut a hole — that is, make it wider at the bottom than at the surface — so that the new plaster will “key” into the old. The sharp end of the opener is equally useful for removing old grout between your bathroom tiles before regrouting.
How can you make sure that shelf you’re about to put up is straight if you don’t have a level on hand? Easy. Just fill a 1-liter soda bottle about three-quarters full with water. Replace the cap, then lay the bottle on its side. When the water is level, so is the shelf.
Make a weight for anchoring or lifting
Fill a clean, dry gallon (3.7-liter) jug with a handle with sand and cap it. You now have an anchor that is great for holding down a paint tarp, securing a shaky patio umbrella, or steadying a table for repair. The handle makes it easy to move or attach a rope. Or use a pair of sand-filled bottles as exercise weights, varying the amount of sand to meet your lifting capacity.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.