Decorate a dollhouse
Use buttons as sconces, plates, and wall hangings in a child’s dollhouse. The more variety, the better.
Use small buttons the next time you make beanbags and save the dried beans for the soup.
Make a necklace
String attractive buttons on two strands of heavy-duty thread or dental floss. Make an attractive design by alternating large and small buttons of various colors.
Decorate a Christmas tree
Give your Christmas tree an old-fashioned look. Make a garland by knotting large buttons on a sturdy length of string or dental floss.
Use as game pieces or poker chips
Don’t let lost pieces stop you from playing games like backgammon, bingo, or Parcheesi. Substitute buttons for the lost pieces and keep playing to your heart’s content. For an impromptu game of poker, use buttons as chips, with each color representing a different value.
Keep tape unstuck
You’re trying to wrap a present and you can’t find the end of the tape roll. Instead of scratching in frustration trying to find that elusive end every time you use the tape, stick a button on the end of the tape. As you use the tape, keep moving the button.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.