Unstick a drawer
If you have a desk or chest drawer that sticks, remove it and rub a candle on the runners. The drawer will open more smoothly when you slip it back in place.
Make a pincushion
A wide candle makes an ideal pincushion. The wax will help pins and needles glide more easily through fabric too.
Quiet a squeaky door
If a squeaky door is driving you batty, take it off its hinges and rub a candle over the hinge surfaces that touch each other. The offending door will squeak no more.
Make a secret drawing
Have a child make an “invisible” drawing with a white candle. Then let him or her cover it with a wash of watercolor paint to reveal the picture. The image will show up because the wax laid down by the candle will keep the paper in the areas it covers from absorbing the paint. If you have a few kids around, they can all make secret drawings and messages to swap and reveal.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.