Cover scratches on appliances
Daub small nicks on household appliances with correction fluid. Once it dries, cover your repair with clear nail polish for staying power. This works well on white china, too, but only for display. Now that correction fluid comes in a rainbow of colors, its uses go beyond white. You may easily find a match for your beige or yellow household stove or refrigerator.
Touch up a ceiling
Hide marks on white or beige ceilings with judiciously applied brush strokes of correction fluid. You can tone down the brightness, if you need to, by buffing the repaired area with a paper towel once it has dried.
Need a quick fix for scuffed white shoes? Correction fluid will camouflage the offensive marks. On leather, buff gently once the fluid dries. No need to buff on patent leather.
Paint the town
Decorate your windows for any occasion. Paint snowflakes, flowers, or Welcome Home signs using correction fluid. Later you can remove your art with nail polish remover, an ammonia solution, vinegar and water, or a commercial window cleaner. Or you can scrape it off with a single-edged razor blade in a holder made for removing paint from glass.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.