Clean your dishwasher
Is the inside of your dishwasher rusty brown? The cause is a high iron content in your water. Dump a packet of unsweetened lemonade Kool-Aid into the soap drawer and run the washer through a hot-water cycle. When you open the door, the inside will be as white as the day you bought the machine.
Clean rust from concrete
Nasty rust stains on your concrete? Mix unsweetened lemonade Kool-Aid with hot water. Scrub and the rust stain should come right out.
Color wall paints
Mix any flavor of unsweetened Kool-Aid into water-based latex paint to alter its color. Or mix unsweetened Kool-Aid with water to create your own watercolors, but don’t give them to the kids — Kool-Aid stains can be tough to remove.
Make some tasty lip gloss
When little girls are playing dress-up, let them pick their favorite presweetened Kool-Aid flavor. Blend a package of the drink mix with 3 tablespoons vegetable shortening, then microwave for one minute. Transfer to a 35mm film canister and refrigerate overnight.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.