These contraptions are absurd wasters of energy and are so loud they have been banned by many municipalities. They stir up dirt and dust, and can throw rocks at cars and people.
Electric-powered blowers are marginally less disturbing than gas-powered ones, but both suffer from one overwhelming negative: They don’t work as well as the humble rake, which is more precise, more tenacious, offers exercise to the user, and won’t tee off the neighbors by accidentally blowing leaves, grass, and dust onto their lawns.
Next time a salesperson thrusts a leaf blower at you at a garden center, ask to see their rake selection.
Another reason to blow-off the blower? Calories! You’ll burn 50 more calories per half hour if you use a rake.
Find the best tool for the job. Check out Real Simple‘s list of best rakes.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.