Q. Should I turn off the lights every time I leave the room?
Let your bulb answer that. You save energy with the lights off, even for a few seconds. But flicking that switch shortens every lightbulb’s life. Incandescent lightbulbs are cheap, so turn them off when you can. Compact fluorescent lightbulbs (CFLs) aren’t cheap — about $4 each — but one will save you about $30 in electricity charges throughout its life span over an incandescent. And don’t worry, turning on a lightbulb doesn’t burn a lot of energy. The Department of Energy’s office of Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy says that the amount of electricity needed to turn on a bulb equals a few seconds of its burning brightly.
Q. Do I really have to unplug my TV, phone chargers, CD player …?
Even when they’re not on, electricity courses through the plugs of your electronic gadgets so that they’ll jump into action more quickly. This “vampire electricity” sucks up $4 billion a year in energy for things that aren’t even on. Your laptop alone, turned off but plugged into the wall, will cost you $9 a year. Cell phone chargers that aren’t connected to a cell phone cost 14 cents a year. With some 260 million chargers out there, it adds up.
Reader’s Digest Version: Unplug. Even easier, plug everything into power strips with on/off switches.
Q. I know cold-water washes are greener, but will they get my clothes clean?
For a hot-water load, about 90 percent of the energy used to wash clothes goes to heat the water, not agitate your clothes. The good news is, washing your clothes in warm or even cold water will get rid of almost any grime, except for the worst dirt or oily stains.
Reader’s Digest Version: Switch from hot to warm water to cut energy use in half; cold, to cut it even more.
Q. Dirty dishes: by hand or by machine?
By the time you wash a sinkload of dirty dishes by hand, you’ll go through 4 to 5 gallons of water. Modern dishwashers use as little as 2 gallons. Sure, dishwashers require electricity, but new ones use 95 percent less electricity than machines built 30 years ago, and they clean well enough that in most cases, there’s no need to pre-rinse.
Reader’s Digest Version: Stick to full loads, use the pot-scrubber option only if necessary, and hit the no-heat or air-dry option.
Q. Peanut butter jar: a simple rinse or a full-on scour before recycling?
A small amount of food won’t gum up the recycling works, so don’t waste a lot of water making that peanut butter jar pristine. You should do it mostly to keep pests away. And that lime in your empty beer bottle? Leave it.
Reader’s Digest Version: Rinse out what you can, then recycle.
Q. Soda bottle tops: on or off before recycling?
It depends on where you live. Some localities insist on no tops; others are more laid-back. Leave them off because 1) the caps are not always made from the same plastic as the container, and 2) they can jam the processing equipment.
Reader’s Digest Version: Off with their heads!
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.