Use for dusting and polishing
Although oven mitts are typically confined to kitchen duty, they’re actually great for dusting and polishing around your house. Use one side of the mitt to apply wax or polish to your furniture, and the other side to buff it up. It’s a great way to use old mitts or all those extra ones you’ve collected.
When pruning thorny plants
Although oven mitts may be a bit too awkward to use for weeding or planting seedlings in your garden, they can come in awfully handy when it comes time to prune trees, hedges, and bushes — particularly those thorny devils such as holly, firethorn, and rosebushes.
Remove hot engine parts
Keeping an oven mitt in your car’s glove compartment or trunk can make life a lot easier when you need to handle hot radiator caps and the like during an on-the-road emergency.
Change a hot light bulb
Did the light bulb on your reading lamp just blow out? Don’t scorch your fingers when replacing it. Once you’ve removed the lampshade, put on an oven mitt, remove the dead bulb from the socket, and toss it into the garbage. That way, you won’t still be blowing on your fingertips when screwing in the new bulb.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.