Take off makeup
Put your face first. Why buy expensive makeup removers when a perfectly good substitute sits in your shower stall? Hair conditioner quickly and easily removes makeup for much less money than name-brand makeup removers.
Unstick a ring
Grandma’s antique ring just got stuck on your middle finger. Now what? Grab a bottle of hair conditioner and slick down the finger. The ring should slide right off.
Lubricate a zipper
You’re racing out the door, throwing on your jacket, and dang! Your zipper’s stuck, so you yank and pull until it finally zips up. A dab of hair conditioner rubbed along the zipper teeth can help you avoid this bother next time.
Smooth shave-irritated legs
After you shave your legs, they may feel rough and irritated. Rub on hair conditioner; it acts like a lotion and can soothe the hurt away.
Smooth-sliding shower curtain
Tired of yanking on the shower curtain? Instead of closing smoothly, does it stutter along the curtain rod, letting the shower spray water onto the floor? Rub the rod with hair conditioner, and the curtain will glide across it.
Prevent rust on tools
Every good do-it-yourselfer knows how important it is to take care of the tools in your toolbox. One way to condition them and keep rust from invading is to rub them down with hair conditioner.
Clean and shine your houseplants
Do your houseplants need a good dusting? Feel like your peace lily could use a makeover? Put a bit of hair conditioner on a soft cloth and rub the plant leaves to remove dust and shine the leaves.
Shine stainless steel
Forget expensive stainless steel polishers. Apply hair conditioner to your faucets, golf clubs, chrome fixtures, or anything else that needs a shine. Rub it off with a soft cloth, and you’ll be impressed with the gleam.
Clean silk garments
Do you dare to ignore that “dry clean only” label in your silk shirt? Here’s a low-cost alternative to sending it out. Fill the sink with water (warm water for whites and cold water for colors). Add a tablespoon of hair conditioner. Immerse the shirt in the water and let it sit for a few minutes. Then pull it out, rinse, and hang it up to dry. The conditioner keeps the shirt feeling silky smooth.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.