If it’s too noisy at home, try these sound-deadening ideas from unplggd.com, “especially when your neighbor sings like a cat in heat” and you can’t cover your walls in foam:
1. Whenever air gets in, noise gets in. Make sure windows and doors are sealed and weather-stripped.
2. Everyone knows that curtains and fabric wall hangings cut down on sound, but don’t rule out rearranging the furniture. If a shared wall or a wall facing the street is noisy, consider placing a big upholstered couch there to absorb sound.
3. Rug are great sound mufflers. The plusher or shaggier they are, the better. And area rugs on top of carpeting work better still.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.