• A firm of tree surgeons will be needed to cut up and remove the tree.
• If you are unable to live in the house immediately, ensure it is not a looting target. Secure doors and windows and put valuables in temporary storage.
• Storm damage to homes by trees (and the cost of removing the tree if it has fallen on the house) is covered by most building insurance polices.
• If your tree falls on your neighbour’s property, they will need to make a claim on their building’s insurance policy.
• Although unlikely to cause a sudden emergency, tree roots can extend under a property, causing damage to the foundation. The first signs of this might be cracks in the plaster inside the house or cracks in the brickwork on the outside.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.