Turn three empty liquor cartons into a sectioned storage bin for your long-handled garden tools. Put a topless box on the floor with the dividers left in. Then cut the tops and bottoms off two similar boxes and stack them so the dividers match up. Use duct tape to attach the boxes to each other. Use the bin to store hoes, rakes, and other long-handled garden tools.
Your gardening tools are meant to last longer than your perennials, so keep them clean and protected from the elements. Fill a 5-gallon (19-liter) bucket with builder’s sand (available at masonry supply and home centers) and pour in about 1 quart (1 liter) of clean motor oil. Plunge shovels and other tools into the sand a few times to clean and lubricate them. To prevent rust, you can leave the tool blades in the bucket of sand for storage. A coffee can filled with sand and a little motor oil will give the same protection to your pruners and hand trowels.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.