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The "Write" Stuff
RD: What does your husband think of this new, natural you?Curtis: I think he probably likes me better like this. All through our 20 years when I was trying really hard to be pretty, getting my hair all done up and a lot of makeup, he didn't like all that. And it hurt me a lot because other people would say, "Oh, you look beautiful." And he wouldn't even say, "You look nice." That was always very difficult. Now, I feel that he's much more appreciative.
RD: You two will have been married 20 years this month. What has made your marriage different from that of your parents?
Curtis: My mother and stepfather were married 43 years, so I have watched a long marriage. I feel like I had a very good role model for that. And, you know, it's just a number.
RD: Twenty is a lot, though.
Curtis: Twenty is big, but it's not about numbers for me. It's like sobriety. It doesn't matter how much time I have. I'm an addict, and I have to be vigilant in taking care of myself. I'd lie to you if I just said, "Oh, yeah, I'm fine, sober forever." That's not how it works. The perspective is to look at sobriety as a daily reprieve from my addictive nature. My marriage? Up to now everything's okay. But it's a real marriage -- imperfect and very difficult. It's all about people evolving somewhat simultaneously through their lives. I think we've emotionally evolved.
RD: You have a new children's book out. Did you get into writing books as a way to taper off working in films?
Curtis: Actually, the books were never a planned career path. I wrote the first one, When I Was Little, when my daughter was four. This cherubic blond baby walked in and boastfully said something like, "You know, when I was two and a half, I didn't take a bath by myself, but now I do." It made me laugh. On a piece of paper I wrote, "A four-year-old's memoir of youth." I wrote down a series of those. I sent it to an agent, and Harper & Row bought it. Each subsequent book had the same process. Ultimately it turns out to be my true voice that I found. Being an actor, you are recognized for being somebody else, whereas these books are distilled from me. Now all of a sudden I'm so less interested in pretending to be a lot of other people, and much more interested in being me.
RD: Several of your children's books are bestsellers. Would you consider doing a novel or adult self-help book?
Curtis: I'm a layperson. I barely got out of high school. I have no business telling people what to do or my big philosophy on life. I'm certainly not going to write any sort of memoir.
RD: What was it about Christmas With the Kranks that got you out of the house and onto the set?
Curtis: Honestly, it was the right people at the time in the right place for the right price. I'm not going to lie to you. I have a very strict boundary that I seek work in. It has to be [shot] in Los Angeles. It has to be a family-area film because I can't go anywhere of an adult nature, really, since I have a teenage daughter. It can't be during summer school vacation. The parameters are such that I don't get offered a lot of work. I'm sure most directors hear my list of don'ts and say forget it.
RD: And you're okay with that?
Curtis: I'm the mommy in my house, and I want to be the mommy in my house. My not being in the house leaves a really gaping hole. All the work built my fame and certainly made me more money, but the toll it took in my home was not good.
RD: You said becoming sober was the single most important thing you've ever done, and that you felt completely free when you showed the world your body as it really is. Has all this made you truly happy?
Curtis: I think happiness comes from self-acceptance. We all try different things, and we find some comfortable sense of who we are. We look at our parents and learn and grow and move on. We change. I think my capacity to change has given me tremendous happiness, because who I am today I am completely content to be.
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