An Excellent Vintage

A drunk walks into a drugstore and asks for a bottle of mouthwash.

"I’m not selling you that," says the druggist. "You’ll drink it for the alcohol and get sick outside my door!"

"Not true!" insists the drunk. "I have my first date in over a year, and I want to make a good impression."

"Oh, I’m sorry. Here." The druggist takes a bottle of mouthwash off the shelf and puts it on the counter.

The drunk stares at it. "Got one that’s been refrigerated?"

  • Category: Bar Jokes

    Adding Insult to Introduction

    Some Texans are mingling at the bar when an Oxford graduate…

    Infinitely Many Mathematicians…

    Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar. The first…

    An Amnesiac Walks Into…

    An amnesiac walks into a bar. He goes up to a beautiful…

    Gimme a White Russian, Hold The Russian.

    At an all-you-can-eat buffet, my nine-year-old was excited…

    You Look so Familiar…

    The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in…

    A Penguin Walks Into…

    A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks…

    A Panda Walks Into…

    A panda walks into a bar and gobbles some beer nuts. Then…

    A Horse Walks Into…

    A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says…

    Two Men Walk Into…

    Two men walk into a bar. You’d think at least one of…

    Two Cartons of Yogurt…

    Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who…

    This Cowboy Walks Into…

    This cowboy walks into a bar and orders a beer. His hat is…

    The Past, Present and Future…

    The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was…

    This Dyslexic Guy…

    So there was this dyslexic guy who walked into a bra…

    Doctor Jones’ Daiquiri

    Doctor Jones likes to stop at a bar after work and enjoy an…

    Charles Dickens Walks Into…

    Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The…

    A Man Walks Into…

    A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under one…

    A Pair of Jumper Cables…

    A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar and ask for a…

    A Mushroom Walks Into…

    A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink. The…

    A Guy Walks Into…

    A guy walks into a bar and finds a horse serving drinks…

    A Group of Fonts

    Several fonts walk into a bar. “Get out of…