Bosses Say the Darnedest Things

Here are actual comments bosses made to employees during their 
salary reviews:

“I’ve got great news. You managed to avoid a salary decrease.”

“No, we don’t promote family members first. It’s just coincidence.”

“Before you came to my department, you were such a shining star—full of new ideas and enthusiasm. What happened to you?”

“This is a salary review. Let’s not focus on the money.”

From mediabistro.com

  • Category: Office Jokes

    Answering Your Own Question

    An acquaintance of mine was hired as a research assistant…

    Business Wardrobe

    It was our new receptionist’s very first job, and it…

    Unable to See

    My husband works for a high-tech company that uses a…

    Getting an Eyefull

    When a fellow piano tuner was ill, I took over his…

    Getting the Cold Shoulder

    I was working as a short-order cook at two restaurants in…

    Lisp

    The boss placed a sign directly over the sink in the…

    Locked Out

    Being the office supervisor, I had to have a word with a…

    Math Calculation

    Another man and I share a locker at work. Noticing that it…

    Misunderstood

    Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank…

    Mouse Trap

    My brother Jim was hired by a government agency and…

    Office Meeting

    The company where I work provides four-foot-high cubicles…

    Problems on Both Ends

    My nephew, a flight attendant, split the back of his pants…

    Rubbed the Wrong Way

    I was halfway through a meeting with a photocopy salesman…

    Uninvited Announcement

    Each year our company holds a training session in the…

    Crabby Department

    The clinic where I work promoted a co-worker to head the…

    Fat Chance

    Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that…

    Giving Away Tickets

    When I was a rookie police officer, I was flustered by…

    People Lover

    A friend and I used to run a small temporary-staffing…

    Surprised

    In honor of my brother’s retirement from the police…

    Giving Away Your Age

    How not to become a member of senior management: During a…