Can You Spare Some Brimstone?

I asked my pastor, “If I don’t quit smoking, will I go to hell?”

“No,” he said. “You’ll just smell like it.”

Carolyn Owens, Minneapolis, Minnesota

  • Category: Funny Stories

    50 Funniest Jokes

    Laugh more, live longer with the funniest jokes ever.

    Spring Jokes – Silly About Spring

    Laugh winter woes away with one of these witty springtime…

    Angry Customers

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    Complex Explanation

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    Not so Private

    Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved…

    Personal Tracking Device

    After shopping at a busy store, another woman and I…

    Running Out of Fuel

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    Boring Request

    The customer ordering a floral arrangement from my shop was…

    Unfinished Repairs

    My sister Darlene has the courage—but not always the…

    Win-Win

    I couldn’t decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or…

    Getting an Eyefull

    When a fellow piano tuner was ill, I took over his…

    Palindrome

    I’m dyslexic, and attended a conference about the…

    Problems on Both Ends

    My nephew, a flight attendant, split the back of his pants…

    Small Print, Big Problems

    During the mortgage closing on our summer house, my wife…

    Speech Impediment

    Bad weather meant I was stuck overnight at O’Hare…

    Airplane Confusion

    My flight was delayed in Houston. Since the gate was needed…

    Unappetizing

    My wife and I run a small restaurant where we often name…

    Bad Driver

    I was getting into my car when I noticed a dent. On the…

    Big Mouth

    New to the United States, I was eager to meet people. So…

    Hairy Situation

    I was in line at a restaurant. In front of me was a mother…