With the Ark settled safely after the flood, Noah opens the doors and commands the animals, “Go forth and multiply!” All the animals depart the Ark, except for two snakes in the back. Noah proclaims again, “Go forth and multiply,” yet the snakes stay put. Perturbed, Noah finally asks them, “Why have you not followed my command?” The snakes flicker their tongues and answer, “We can’t multiply, Noah—we’re Adders.”
1) In World War II, a German U-boat was sunk because of a malfunctioning toilet.
2) American combat dolphins, deployed in the Persian Gulf, surrounded and captured an Iranian battleship.
3) The pen used by the military … Read More
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Need to know ASAP.
A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, “How many people here make love once a day?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them … Read More
You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
A first-grade teacher can’t believe her student isn’t hepped up about the Super Bowl. “It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”
“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the … Read More
To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
Patrick McLellan (@pmclellan)
A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It’s cheaper, and you get more feet.