Poor Excuse for an Employee

Need a reason for being late to work? Don’t try these—they didn’t help any of the workers who actually used them.

My deodorant was frozen to the windowsill.

My car door fell off.

I dreamed I was already at work.

I had an early-morning gig as a clown.

  • Category: Office Jokes

    Answering Your Own Question

    An acquaintance of mine was hired as a research assistant…

    Business Wardrobe

    It was our new receptionist’s very first job, and it…

    Unable to See

    My husband works for a high-tech company that uses a…

    Getting an Eyefull

    When a fellow piano tuner was ill, I took over his…

    Getting the Cold Shoulder

    I was working as a short-order cook at two restaurants in…

    Lisp

    The boss placed a sign directly over the sink in the…

    Locked Out

    Being the office supervisor, I had to have a word with a…

    Math Calculation

    Another man and I share a locker at work. Noticing that it…

    Misunderstood

    Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank…

    Mouse Trap

    My brother Jim was hired by a government agency and…

    Office Meeting

    The company where I work provides four-foot-high cubicles…

    Problems on Both Ends

    My nephew, a flight attendant, split the back of his pants…

    Rubbed the Wrong Way

    I was halfway through a meeting with a photocopy salesman…

    Uninvited Announcement

    Each year our company holds a training session in the…

    Crabby Department

    The clinic where I work promoted a co-worker to head the…

    Fat Chance

    Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that…

    Giving Away Tickets

    When I was a rookie police officer, I was flustered by…

    People Lover

    A friend and I used to run a small temporary-staffing…

    Surprised

    In honor of my brother’s retirement from the police…

    Giving Away Your Age

    How not to become a member of senior management: During a…