Running the Show

I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security. As part of my job, I explain court procedures to visitors. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the courtroom. "This is where the judge sits," I began, pointing to the bench. "The lawyers sit at these tables. The court clerk sits over there. The court recorder, or stenographer, sits over here. Near the judge is the witness stand and over there is where the jury sits. As you can see," I finished, "there are a lot of people involved in making this system work."

At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, "Yeah, but I’m the one who makes it all happen."

 

 

  • Category: Lawyer Jokes

    The Best Legal Advice Ever…

    …was spotted on a billboard ad for the law office of…

    What Does DUMB Stand For?

    While serving jury duty, 
I noticed that the defense…

    Trappiest Place on Earth

    A man won an $8,000 settlement from Disneyland after he got…

    I Don’t Say “Hey” Pro Bono

    A lawyer e-mailed a client: “Dear Jennifer: Thought I saw…

    Long Tour of Duty

    I work in a courthouse, so when I served jury duty, I knew…

    A Little Too Literal

    If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer…

    Roll Call

    I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of…

    The First Case

    An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so…

    Court of Less Appeal

    Justice isn’t just blind—it’s snickering…

    Frame of Reference

    When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she…

    The Judgement

    After I prosecuted a man for killing a bird out of season…

    Protesting Too Much

    Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm’s client…

    Usual Suspect

    While prosecuting a robbery case, I conducted an interview…

    Running the Show

    I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security. As…

    Waiting for the Fine

    The judge had not yet put in an appearance in the San Diego…

    No Lawsuits

    Sidewalks were treacherous after a heavy snowstorm…

    Love Report

    A young man I know, who recently became law clerk to a…

    Guilty as Charged

    In Fort Worth, Texas, I was hauled before the judge for…

    Tough Punishment

    I was a brand-new attorney in practice alone, and I had a…

    Not so Humble

    I was once a legal secretary to a young law clerk who…

    Liar Liar

    As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery case, I was…

    Bad Job

    As a judge, I was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw…

    Pretty Pennies

    Q: Who invented copper wire? A: Two tax attorneys fighting…