Speaking Slowly

Hoss drove over to the next county to buy a new bull for the farm. It cost more than expected, and he was left with only one dollar. This was a problem, since he needed to let his wife, Sue, know that he’d bought the bull so she could come get it with the truck—and telegrams cost a dollar per word. Hoss thought hard for a minute. Finally he said, “All right. Here’s my dollar. Go ahead and just make it this one word: Comfortable.”

“How’s that going to get your point across?” the clerk asked, scratching his head.

“Don’t worry,” Hoss said. “Sue’s not the greatest reader. She’ll say it real slow.”

  • Speech Impediment

    Bad weather meant I was stuck overnight at O’Hare…

    Unappetizing

    My wife and I run a small restaurant where we often name…

    Overeater

    Although I knew I had put on a few pounds, I didn’t…

    Change in Weather

    News that her third child was going to be a girl thrilled…

    Squealing Evidence

    Phil was driving down a country road late one night when he…

    Slow and Steady

    There were only two people in line ahead of me at the…

    Driving in the Middle

    A policeman looked up to see a woman racing down the center…

    Lawn-Mower Names

    Rev up your engines and tell the crabgrass to look out. The…

    Speaking Slowly

    Hoss drove over to the next county to buy a new bull for…

    Drinking Water

    My wife and I were having lunch at a fashionable eatery in…

    Bathing in Milk

    A woman buys many gallons of milk from the milkman one…

    50 Jokes for 50 States

    Read funny jokes about all 50 states and start laughing.

    On Friends and Countrymen

    Conversation at our business lunch turned to illegal…

    Good Eulogy

    The pastor asks his flock, “What would you like…

    Funny Smell

    While filling up at a gas station, I accidentally spilled…

    The Definition of Fame

    Three guys are talking about what constitutes fame. The…

    Party Time

    My mother asked me to hand out invitations for my…

    Odd Jobsite

    On his way to perform at a graveside service, the bagpiper…

    7 Funny French Fast-Food Restaurants

    The Week asked its readers to come up with the name of a…

    Blame Canada

    Canada wants us to remember that it, too, is part of North…