Daily Life Jokes

I was playing chess with my friend, and he said, "Let's make this more interesting." So we stopped playing chess.

Take heed, scientists: Not every scientific advancement is Nobel Prize worthy. Some must lay claim to an Ig Nobel Prize, awarded by the Annals of Improbable Research magazine: The Prize for Physiology went to the report "No…

Needing to escape her hectic office, my friend fled to the mall, bought a candy bar, and then relaxed on a bench next to a businessman. Soon, she heard the sound of a crumpling wrapper and realized that he was eating her candy bar…

As I helped my elderly neighbor clean out his garage, I stumbled upon an ax in the corner. "That was my grandfather's," he said, picking it up and running his fingers along the blade. "Of course, it's been through three new heads…

In an attempt to balance work and motherhood, I delegated the grocery shopping to my young babysitter. But the job proved a tad daunting. One day while I was at work, she texted me from the supermarket. "Can't find Brillo pads," she…

The elevator in our building malfunctioned one day, leaving several of us stranded. Seeing a sign that listed two emergency phone numbers, I dialed the first and explained our situation. After what seemed to be a very long silence…

Dating is complicated. You don't believe us? Here are some examples: Right after we broke up, my ex-girlfriend called to ask how to change her relationship status on Facebook. I got into a 90-minute argument with my girlfriend…

If truth-in-advertising laws governed your tattoos, here's what the ink would actually say: Still in my rebellious rite-of-passage phase. I anticipate always feeling as whimsical as I was when I chose this. Thinking-ahead…

Sarah, the self-appointed arbiter of the town's morals, stuck her nose into everyone's business. She made a mistake, however, when she accused her neighbor George of being an alcoholic after spotting his pickup parked in front of a…

Last October, Baltimore handed out its first citation to a restaurant for repeated violations of the city’s trans-fat ban. The name of the eatery: Healthy Choice.