Insulting Quotes: 9 Vintage Whines That Get Better With Age

Insults tend to be the cherry on top of a grievance. To quote Alice Roosevelt Longworth, "If you have nothing nice to say about someone, sit right next to me." She'd have loved these...

From Reader's Digest Magazine | Images by Brandon Specktor

1. Billy Wilder

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music" Billy Wilder

2. Forrest Tucker

"He loves nature despite what it did to him" Forrest Tucker

3. Mae West

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork" Mae West4. Oscar Wilde

"Some people cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go" Oscar Wilde

5. Winston Churchill

"He's a modest little person with much to be modest about" Winston Churchill

6. Paul Keating

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up" Paul Keating

7. Julian Rubinstein

"He's a complete liar. You can't even believe what he asks." Julian Rubinstein

8. Groucho Marx

"Now there's a man with an open mind. You can feel the breeze from here!" Groucho Marx

9. Mark Twain

"I didn't attend the funeral but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it" Mark Twain


 What’s your favorite time-tested zinger?

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  • Your Comments

    • caircair

      Best one I ever heard was from a friend of my father. Said friend was blind and into CB radio (this was wayyy back in the day). One evening someone decided to jam his signal every time he tried to broadcast. Frustrated, and hampered by laws prohibiting him from using blue language, he finally burst out “I hope your mother runs out from under the porch and bites you!!”

    • Karl

      Groucho was the king of insults! Including directed towards himself (I wouldn’t join any club that would have me as a member!)

    • Rachel Rueben

      I love the open minded insult, I definitely gotta try that one!

    • Ana

      Forest Tucker was the best.