Aging Well Jokes

Ha! Getting older can be funny, as these old age jokes prove.

NEW FUNNY JOKES

A Grave Encounter

After trick-or-treating, 
a teen takes a…

"You Need a Shorter Password."

While he was visiting, my father asked for the…

What's a Hipster?

“What’s a hipster?” asked my four-year-old…

Bed, Bath, And Way, Way Beyond

In the hardware store, a 
clerk asked, “Can I…

A Grandmother's Wisdom

A beggar approaches a grandmother at the beach…

Natural Bull Enhancement

A week after John bought a bull, he complained to…

In Memoriam

Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg…

Relaxing Location

While my parents were making their funeral…

A Dime a Dozen

While visiting a retirement community, my wife…

Senior Lingo

Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto…

The Problem With Jury Duty

Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday…

Dream Home

We'd finally built our dream home, but the…

The Woes of Aging

The day after visiting a fair, my wife was in…

On Retirement Time

Retirement is the best thing that has happened to…

Changing With the Times

When I was in high school, I wore Birkenstocks…

Clicking Into Place

"Everything's starting to click for…

Teeth Cleaning

The sight of my mother cleaning her dentures…

Special Karaoke

At the restaurant, a sign read "Karaoke…

Birds of a Feather

I knew that my husband's hearing had deteriorated…

Keeping Up Appearances

An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a…

High Hopes

I've always been a disappointment. When I was…

Trio of Gifts

In January, my wife, a physician, met with an…

Leaving a Light On

An elderly man visits the doctor for a checkup…

Long Time, No See

My 45-year-old sister was attending the wedding…

Empty Threat

Recently I sat in a restaurant watching two older…

Wrinkle Cream

My nine-year-old daughter walked in while I was…

Age Based Discounts

Our favorite museum in town displays quilts from…

Back in Time

For her 40th birthday, my wife said, "I'd…

Contact Info

I was feeling pretty creaky after hearing the TV…

Time Issue

My grandfather was sipping a beer when he…

The Good Old Days

I have no respect for gangs today. They just…

Marking Time

My sister and I decided to reframe a favorite…

Blind Date

"How was your blind date?"…

Looking Good

Even at age 88, my mother was vain about her…

A Great Weight-Loss Tip

The biggest loser at my weight-loss club was an…

Gary LeVox of Rascal Flatt's Favorite Joke

John is out with his friends and stops by his…

Active Pursuits

I'm bald--well, balding. I like to say…

Not Getting It

After I bought my mother a compact-disc player…

Old and Feeling Great

A nurse friend of mine took a 104-year-old…

Generation Gap

Her class assignment was to interview an…

Old in Some Ways

One of my fourth graders asked my teacher's…

Unable to Drive

After booking my 90-year-old mother on a flight…

Young Hairstyle

I was having lunch with my daughter Rachel, who's…

Young Man

Visiting his parents' retirement village in…

Driving Drought

The insurance agency I work for draws business…

Older Method

An IBM exhibit in New York City portrayed the…

Catching a Ride

To my friend's astonishment, a police car pulled…

First in Line

An attorney I know once drafted wills for an…

Caught in a Lie

When a woman called 911 complaining of difficulty…

Dangerous Driver

One day at the office of the orthopedic…

Different Easter

Just before Easter I remarked to my husband that…

Gift Registry

Bob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, are all excited…

Large Amount of Money

For years my sister's husband tried…

Old Patient

My 60-year-old mother-in-law, completing two…

Wrong Bar

My diminutive aunt Flora, just four feet, nine…

Age Difference

Rock concerts are a little different now than…

Age Tells All

Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed the…

Aging

I was having trouble with the idea of turning…

Backfire

Turning 50 two years ago, I took a lot of…

Birthday Present

I was turning 40 and decided to celebrate by…

Bringing Back the Old Days

Heading off to college at the age of 40, I was a…

Crumpled Up

I had been thinking about coloring my hair. One…

Emotionally Painful

My husband was bending over to tie my…

Eyeglass Tips

Jim, my 40-something husband, was playing…

Facts of Life

At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was…

Fat Chance

Having fought the battle of the bulge most of my…

Fat Plate

To celebrate his 40th birthday, my boss, who is…

Final Minutes

Because they had no reservations at a busy…

Flattering Tip

I was with my husband at a baseball game in…

Football Talk

My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a…

Forgetful

My grandfather has a knack for looking on the…

Four Eyes

Fans of '60s music, my 14-year-old daughter and…

Getting Older

I had just had my 50th birthday and found the…

Going Unnoticed

Curious when I found two black-and-white…

Going up in Age

Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday…

Jumper

Now that I'm over 40, younger teammates have…

Keeping Up

Our dear friend Trudy attended my husband's…

Local Traveler

For my grandmother's 80th birthday, we had a huge…

Looking Into the Future

My 20th high-school class reunion was held at a…

Loud Noises

My brother and his wife started their family in…

Loud Ticking

I was having lunch with several thirty-something…

Moving Forward

The summer after college graduation, I was living…

Noticing Changes

My husband and I, married 13 years, were dressing…

Old Timer

After working for months to get in shape, my…

One Hundred Times Over

A few years ago, I opened the invitation to my…

One Year Away

When a woman I know turned 99 years old, I went…

Running Out of Time

One of the English classes I taught at Deltona…

Too Old to Move

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old…

Trouble Speaking

I had laryngitis and finally decided to go to the…

Unwanted Fashion

During the last days of my mother's life, we…

Watching the Game

After a shopping expedition, my friend Gina and I…

Well Mannered

While on maternity leave, a woman from our office…

Wrong Message

We invited some old friends to help celebrate my…

Wrong Purchase

My hearing had gotten worse, and ultimately I was…

Younger Than the Truth

While my friend Emily was visiting her mother…