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Animal Jokes

Funny cats, dogs, and other creatures prowl through our collection of funny animal jokes.

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Cold Water Washing

John went to visit his old grandfather in a secluded area of Georgia. After chatting all night John’s grandfather made a breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film on his plate, and questioned his grandfather, "Are these plates clean?"

His grandfather replied, "They’re as clean as cold water can get them. Just finish your meal!"

For lunch John worried that the plates had dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"

The old man said, "I told you those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now I don’t want to hear any more about it!"

Later that afternoon, as John was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, not letting him pass. John yelled, "Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car."

The old man shouted, "Coldwater, go lie down!"

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