Corny Jokes

Groaning is the best medicine, as you'll find out fast with this collection of funny, corny jokes.

NEW FUNNY JOKES

What do You Call a Line...

Q: What do you call a line of rabbits hopping…

Jokes Every Vegan Should Know

What do you call a dumb carnivore? A…

Did You Hear About the Vegan Devil...

Did you hear about the vegan devil…

Why Does Vegan Cheese Taste...

Q: Why does vegan cheese taste bad? A: It…

The Time Traveler Protest

T NOW! What do we want? MORE TIME-TRAVEL JOKES!…

Crossword Puzzle Answers You’d Never get Right:

• Star of Gravity (Newton) • You say potato…

Grandma, How You've Changed!

During my mother’s memorial, my five-year-old…

How Do You Get Down...

Q: How do you get down from an elephant? A:…

She Shoots, She Scores!

Why should you never breakup with a…

Why Are Frogs...

Q: Why are frogs so happy? A: They eat…

The Reader, The Writer, And The Lion

A lion comes across two 
men, one reading and…

Did You Hear About the New E-reader?

Did you hear about the new e-reader? Reader’s…

Why Do We Tell Actors...

Why do we tell actors to "break a…

Why Aren't Dogs...

Q: Why aren't dogs good dancers? A: Because…

What Kind of Coat...

Q: What kind of coat is always wet when you put…

Pencil Me In

Boy: Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?…

Dive Right In

What did one boat say to the other? "Are you up…

How Many Sheep...

Q: How many sheep does it take to make one…

Why Do Cows Have Bells...

Q: Why do cows have bells? A: Because their…

What Did the Doctor...

Q: What did the doctor tell her invisible…

A Juggler, a Tightrope Walker, and a Clown...

Q: A juggler, a tightrope walker, and a clown…

Why Did the Bacteria...

Q: Why did the bacteria cross the…

Why Are Football Stadiums...

Q: Why are football stadiums so cool? A:…

Why Is Six Afraid...

Q: Why is the number six afraid of seven? A:…

A chilling realization

As soon as the hospital made me put on one of…

A police officer pulled over a guy...

A police officer pulled over a guy for weaving…

Two babies are sitting in their cribs...

Two babies are sitting in their cribs, when one…

I saw a documentary on...

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept…

When I was a child...

When I was a child my father attacked me with…

What Do You Call an Old...

Q: What do you call an old…

A Little Levity

I'm reading a great book about antigravity—I…

No Umbrellas at the North Pole?

Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen always…

Reindeer Lessons

Did you hear that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer…

Green Thumb?

Why does Santa have three garden plots up at the…

Great White Christmas

Who delivers Christmas presents to good little…

Oh, iGet It

What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree…

Comb On!

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a…

Laughing All the Way!

What is a lion's favorite Christmas…

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

Why did the children call St. Nick "Santa Caus"?…

Open Mic Night at the North Pole

What did the reindeer say before telling his…

Christmas in Eden

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?It’s…

Better Than His Ghoul-Cousin...

Q: Who did Frankenstein's monster bring to…

Muy Picante

Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets…

We All KEA!

My first day on the job at an IKEA store, I was…

The Age-Old Question

Eight fellow accountants and I got into the…

A Particular Problem

You just can’t trust atoms—they make up…

Cross-eyed Conversation

What did one eye say to the other? "Don't look…

An Equation for Disaster

Why should you not mix alcohol and…

Old McDonald had a Fraction

Which trigonometric functions do farmers…

Convex

Knock! Knock! Who's…

Punster's Theorem

Algebra teacher: "What is seven Q plus three…

A Swift Decline

About a month before my grandfather died, my…

Hush, Little Actuary

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and…

Weekly Poker Game

Did you hear about the weekly poker game with…

The Anxious Poodle

Poodle: "My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my…

My Wife was in Labor...

My wife was in labor with our first child when…

Roe v. Wade

I cannot stand people who disagree with me on the…

The Obituary of Martin Levine

"Martin Levine, owner of a movie theater chain in…

The Stepladder

I have a stepladder. It's a very nice stepladder…

How Does Moses Make Tea?

How does Moses make tea? He brews.

Soul Singing Duck

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put…

Barefoot Gandhi

Gandhi walked barefoot everywhere, ate very…

A Cell Phone Wedding

Did you hear about the cell phones that got…

Job Security

Reddit.com asked workers: What is rule number one…

Page-Turners

The hashtag #literaryturducken asked Twitter…

Humor Thieves

Why can’t you explain puns to…

Would You Like to Join …

The Yoko Club? Oh no. The German Philosophy…

NASA Cow Launch

Did you hear that NASA has launched several cows…

Runaway Bagel

How do you keep a bagel from getting away? Put…

The Sick Giant

Did you hear about the giant who threw up? It's…

A Pessimist's Predicament

As they leave the courthouse, a lawyer turns to…

He's Now the Butt of the Joke

Wife: “Honey, did you notice? I bought a new…

Communist Nudists

At the nudist colony for communists, two men are…

Missing Dog

An old farmer is inconsolable after his dog goes…

Bad Teacher

A schoolteacher was arrested at the airport for…

A Horse Walks Into...

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says…

Two Cartons of Yogurt...

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The…

The Past, Present and Future...

The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It…

Charles Dickens Walks Into...

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a…

A Man Walks Into...

A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt…

A Pair of Jumper Cables...

A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar and ask…

A Mushroom Walks Into...

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink…

The Dyslexic Devil Worshiper

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?…

The Sinking Ship

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean…

A Tibetan Phone Call

So I called up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and…

The Human Cannonball

The human cannonball tells the circus owner he is…

The Pun Contest

There was a man who entered a pun contest. He…

The Buddhist Pizza Order

What did the Buddhist say to the pizza…

A Bothersome Brother

Why can't a woman ask her brother for…

A Fish with No Eye

What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and…

All the King's Men

Where does a king keep his armies? In his…

An Unbalanced Bike

Why do bicycles fall over? Because they are…

North Pole Therapy

Why was Santa's little helper feeling…

Education Got You Down?

Why was the math book sad? Because it had so…

Why Were All the Ink Spots Crying?

Why were all the ink spots crying? Their…

Humming Birds

Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they can't…

Why are cowboy hats turned up on the sides?

So that three people can fit in the pickup.

A Loan for a Loner

A hermit leaves the solitude of his rural home…

Chicken Prep

A man walks into a restaurant and says, "How do…