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Customer Service Jokes

Pass the time waiting in line with these funny customer service jokes.

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Bookstore Guidance Needed

In some quarters, bookstores may be considered dinosaurs, but odd customers are evergreen, as these requests to bookstore clerks prove.

"Can you tell me who the author of Shakespeare is?"

"I’m looking for a book, but I only know the title, not the author. It’s called Dante’s Inferno."

"I definitely don’t want nonfiction. I like autobiographies and history."

"Do you have Shakespeare in English?"

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Proper Pronunciation

I bought a pint of  Häagen-Dazs ice cream at the supermarket. As the cashier rang it up, I asked…

61%
Drive-Thru

I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay…

41%
Trash Service

Instead of saying, "And here's your receipt," cashiers should say, "Will you throw…

87%
Bookstore Guidance Needed

In some quarters, bookstores may be considered dinosaurs, but odd customers are evergreen, as these…

98%
Special Pie

I was looking at the pies offered by a nearby café. They had cherry, apple, berry, peach…

24%
Time for a New Job

Scene: A phone conversation between a client and me—an art director. Me: Hi. I was wondering…

83%
Menu Options

A customer pulled up to my drive-through window at the fast-food restaurant where I work and…

92%
Christmas Shopping

A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand…

88%
Overseas Help

Days after we invaded Marja, Afghanistan, one of my Marines found out his wife hadn't paid the cell…

85%
The Odd Complaint

One woman raved about the rides at our water park, but she did have a valid complaint: "The…