Dumb and Funny Jokes

Outrageous antics, dumb criminals, and other idiotic lines make up this dumb and funny jokes collection

NEW FUNNY JOKES

Well, That's a Creative Answer...

A student seeking a job at our university was…

Incumbent Imbecile

Recently I heard the former mayor of Reading…

"Oh, and It Doesn't Have Arms or Legs."

A woman called the Colorado State Division of…

Start With a 5K...

One of our interns asked 
another if she was…

Seen on an Online Forum:

“I hate audio correct.” Aaron Fernando…

Malapropisms on Twitter

“Time heals all wombs.” “The seizure…

The Scale of The Situation

We were stocking up on 
green beans at the…

Dubious Accomplishment #23

I don’t want to brag or make anybody jealous or…

Idiots Abroad

The British foreign office helps Brits traveling…

Bad Typos in Real Newspapers

We all make mistakes. Some 
are just more…

Yo Quiero a Clean Criminal Record

Scene: Me driving by a Taco Bell. Sign: Now…

Our Office Needs a 3D Printer

Our boss asked the new mail-room guy to make…

Heading Off Criticism

Think the comments on Internet posts are tough?…

"You Need a Shorter Password."

While he was visiting, my father asked for the…

More Idiotic Job Applicant Blunders

We’ve been over this before: 
Stupid…

Virginal Word Choice

The topic of my student’s essay was the…

Bad Soldier Mistakes

It’s important that soldiers 
learn from…

spel chekers

On Facebook, the English 
language has few…

Urine Trouble Now

An irate patient called our 
pathology group…

Sweet and LOL

When my customer ordered 
iced tea, I asked…

Yahoo Questions that will 
Destroy Your Faith in ...

“Can I safely look at a picture 
of the…

Alphabet Soup or Salad?

At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was…

Trappiest Place on Earth

A man won an $8,000 settlement from Disneyland…

Breakfast at Alcatraz

Three prisoners broke out 
of their cells and…

Weird Help Wanted

• Waitress wanted. Must be 18 years old with 20…

Testimony Taken Down by Me, 
a Court Reporter:

Question: Now, to the best of 
your knowledge…

New From the China National Tourism Administration...

The China National Tourism Administration has…

"I Was Only Breaking the Law a Little!"

My daughter-in-law was driving on the freeway…

The Magic Penny

We had just finished tucking our five kids into…

A Woman Went Tanning...

A woman went up to the roof-deck of her hotel to…

There Are Two Sure Things: Taxes, and Excuses

Here are the best tried-and-failed excuses…

A Poor Ex-Spleen Nation

A medical student was told to remove the spleen…

Wanted: Human Torch

Who wouldn’t be inspired 
to hire this young…

State of Confusion

Scene: The office Me: We have to submit a form…

Don't Even Ask About Condiments...

Scene: office cafeteria line Friend: May I…

Color Me Stupid

A client walked into my design studio with a…

Hold the Presses!

Misadventures in headline writing from around the…

Passive-Aggressive Notes Left for Noisy Neighbors:

• “Hi. Just thought you might like to know…

My Favorite Joke: Penn Jillette

Penn Jillette, the chatty half of the magic duo…

Add Word, Ruin Movie

It doesn’t take much to ruin a film. Sometimes…

A police officer pulled over a guy...

A police officer pulled over a guy for weaving…

Happy Birthday, Facebook!

On February 4, we’ll celebrate ten years of…

The Sorry Saudi

A Saudi prince goes to America to study. A month…

Hut Glut

Sick of having to go to two different huts to buy…

Hope You Like Cheese!

A surveyor drops by Will’s farm in eastern…

What’s the 311?

In New York City, if you have a complaint or a…

Safari, So Good

Two hunters fly to Kenya, where they bag six…

Hunting Trip Gone Wrong

Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over…

Last Words

A business executive visits his Chinese friend in…

That White House is Nice Too

Washington tourist on cell: “I found the house…

Fleeced!

I stayed in a hotel where the towels were so…

A Second Opinion

Lenny tells the psychiatrist, “Every time I get…

This Weather is Hell

Howard dies and waits in line for judgment. He…

The Magic Beer

A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat…

Read The Fine Print

Ad from a printer I will not be doing business…

Good News

Scene: Starbucks. Customer:  Hey, you lost a…

Water

My friend was working at an amusement park when a…

What's IQ Got to Do With It?

Sometimes men don't date women for their IQs…

Lost Dog

An old farmer is inconsolable after his dog goes…

Liquid Ban

Shortly after the FAA announced the ban on…

Going to the Dogs

When our client's dog lapped up anti-freeze, the…

Beyond Our Power

A customer called our service line demanding help…

Menu Item

I’d just sat down at a Manhattan diner when…

Looking for the Problem

As we pulled into the parking lot, we saw a…

Dumb Criminals

A job applicant’s polygraph test for the…

In the Walls

While attending an open house, my wife was taken…

Practice Round

After setting off the alarms at airport security…

Training Days

The U.S. Army Ranger School was more arduous than…

Moving With the Season

Louie and his wife are listening to the radio…

Spelling It Right

Q: What word is always spelled incorrectly? A:…

Smile!

I was driving when I saw the flash of a traffic…

Water Broke

I answered a 911 call at our emergency dispatch…

The Stream

A motorist was driving down a rural dirt road…

We Have Our Suspicions

"Police were called to Market Square for a…

Crossing the Street

When my friend spotted a blind man and his guide…

Movie Quotes—The First Drafts

The Godfather: "I’m gonna make him an offer he…

Water Colors

Tourists say some odd things when they charter my…

Top Secret

The Department of Defense has a Contact Us link…

Comfortable

While I was planning a trip to Nova Scotia, a…

Waiting for Work

When I took my Weed Eater back to the…

Good Records

The pay for this gig is whatever you can haul…

Casting Aspersions

A coworker stormed into my friend's office…

Unlikely Problem

One of our visiting Italian students at Sheppard…

One Last Look

When a body was brought to her funeral home, my…

Qualified

Medical transcription requires a keen ear for…

Meet the Madmen of Pranks

Learn how they pull insane hoaxes and outrageous…

Identification

After finishing his meal, my grandfather, a…

Shower Talk

One of our hotel guests complained to me about a…

Brain Food

The worst ad campaign ever, spotted at a Mexican…

Unfamiliar

Today, while playing "20 Questions"…

Tracking the Argument

Three dolts are in the forest when they spot a…

Misguided

As he trained troops at Fort Dix, New Jersey, my…

Nearly There

Driving in Ohio, we spotted a sign that said…

Dark Room

On a nighttime visit to his brother’s base…

Criminal Law

A man is on trial for armed robbery. The jury…

The Fringe Benefits

After I applied for jobs at both a library and a…

The Last Facebook Status Update

Frank Ferri … is standing over a patient…

Check One

Some people might object to filling out the part…

Spelunking

I was leading a tour through Carlsbad Caverns in…

Noise Makers

With a party going full bore in the apartment…