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Dumb and Funny Jokes

Outrageous antics, dumb criminals, and other idiotic lines make up this dumb and funny jokes collection.

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Movie Quotes—The First Drafts

The Godfather: “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse. Well, he can refuse it, of course. I just know that if someone were to make me an offer like this, I’d jump all over it. But who am I to impose my feelings on someone else?”

The Terminator: “I’ll be back. Do you need anything while I’m up?”

Dirty Harry: “You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? I ask myself that every day, and you know what? I feel so very lucky. Loving family, steady work …”

Taxi Driver: “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Sorry, it looked like you were talkin’ to me. My mistake.”

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Good News

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Water

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Lost Dog

An old farmer is inconsolable after his dog goes missing. His wife suggests he take out an ad in…

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Going to the Dogs

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Beyond Our Power

A customer called our service line demanding help with her TV set, which wouldn’t come on.…

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Menu Item

I’d just sat down at a Manhattan diner when I noticed schav on the menu. Since I hadn’t…

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Looking for the Problem

As we pulled into the parking lot, we saw a couple of people looking under the hood of their car…

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Dumb Criminals

A job applicant’s polygraph test for the Washington State Patrol came to an abrupt end after…

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In the Walls

While attending an open house, my wife was taken with the home’s modern features, especially…