Family Jokes

Laughing with mom, dad, and the rest of the family has never been easier than with our collection of funny family jokes.

NEW FUNNY JOKES

Believe Me, I Would if I Could.

My three-year-old sat in the bathroom with me…

That's Not How it Works, Dad.

Dad rarely dresses up, so when he left the…

Toddler Wisdom

Events had left my son-in-
law’s sister…

Family Loopholes

To get my cousin to write to 
her even once, my…

Where There's A Will...

Where there’s a will, there’s a…

Can I Do A Trade?

I asked my brother-in-law, the 
father of four…

You Could've Said "Gender"

I was nine months pregnant and browsing at a…

Bottom of The Toy Barrel

Here is the best-ever backhanded compliment from…

Kids Marry The Darnedest Things

My young son declared, “When 
I grow up…

"Dad?"

“Dad?” —Zebra looking at a piano Sam…

When I Was a Boy of 14...

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so…

Father's Day is Important Because...

Father’s Day is important because, besides…

I Gave My Father $100...

I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy yourself…

I Got All My Looks...

I got all my looks from my father. Mostly just…

"I Was Only Breaking the Law a Little!"

My daughter-in-law was driving on the freeway…

Grandma, How You've Changed!

During my mother’s memorial, my five-year-old…

The Wisdom of a Defeated Husband

My husband was cramming all his chores into one…

The Magic Penny

We had just finished tucking our five kids into…

I'd Like To Have A Kid...

I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure…

Know Your Audience

“I’d like to discuss something with you,”…

Children For Sale

After a rough day spent corralling my rowdy kids…

Two babies are sitting in their cribs...

Two babies are sitting in their cribs, when one…

A Shady Place

Shortly after my grandmother passed away, I took…

The Truth About Santa

I tell my kids that Santa is fat because he eats…

The Young and the Restful

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that…

Frozen Account

My cousin always “borrows” money from her…

What's the Word for...

Sometimes you have a mess on your hands that…

Founding Mothers

“My great-grandma gave me this money,” said…

Kids These Days

Needing to look up a phone number at a friend’s…

Overheard At The Fair...

Little girl: I want cotton candy! Mom: You can…

Education Starts At Home

During a science lesson, my sister-in-law picked…

Family Crest

Scene: Playground A young girl is reading a book…

Serving Double Time

Did you hear about the identical twins who robbed…

The Final Fix

I can’t tell the difference between a rose and…

The Worst Part

My two daughters were discussing the less than…

Healthy Advice

People’s parents actually give them sage…

Funny Things That Parents Say

"You shouldn't be eating candy so early. We…

Honey, I'm Home

I arrived home from work to find all the windows…

Home Again

Our 25-year-old son moved back home with an eye…

Just Following Directions

My wife is a by-the-recipe baker. But that…

Being Prepared

I was not thrilled with the idea of letting my…

Good Advice

My sister is a know-it-all who bristles at…

Naming Game

My mom wants me to name my kids after people in…

Good Sense

Before my daughter went on her first date, I gave…

Feared Meeting

I was on my way out of the house to meet with a…

Grandmother Approved

Even with a thousand games, dolls and crafts to…

Hidden Spot

Dad is from the old school, where you keep your…

Joking Around

One evening after dinner, my five-year-old son…

Priority List

As she slid behind the wheel for her first…

Salad Dressings

My doctor friend moved his family to a small town…

Surprising Visit

Don't ever pay a surprise visit to a child in…

Taking Out the Trash

Since I am a busy mom of four, I rely on my…

Tough Questions

Driving with my two young boys to a funeral, I…

Wishful Thinking

My two-year-old cousin scared us one summer by…

Wrong Kids

One night about 10 p.m., I answered the phone and…

Double Trouble

It had been a nerve-racking experience for my…

Tattle-Tale

My sister felt she was well prepared for her…

Chatter Box

This couple was heading to the hospital with…

Double Bundle

Several months ago, my daughter and I had similar…

Eating Up

Mother and I were discussing our mutual weight…

Exercise Route

My husband bought an exercise machine to help him…

Flabby Compliment

One evening I was commenting on my bad exercise…

Household Duties

One rainy morning, my mother went for her daily…

Mixed Up

After my wife had a sonogram, I asked my…

Nifty Replacement

I spent an afternoon helping my boyfriend move…

Personal Service

My wife and her friend Karen were talking about…

Rounding Up

My sister decided to go on a diet, and that first…

Under the Knife

My sister and I were out on the town one night…

Held Hostage

My mother was away all weekend at a business…

Homebody

While I was dining out with my children, a man…

Imaginary Friend

I am a first-grade teacher and a new empty…

No Labor Required

When my friend got a job, her husband agreed to…

Ordering In

My husband and I both work, so our family eats…

Smokey Dinner Call

My cooking has always been the target of family…

Table Manners

My daughter had absentmindedly left her sneakers…

The Older the Better

As my 40th birthday approached, my husband, who…

Tone Deaf

My mom had always wanted to learn to play the…

Unreal

Recently visiting my hometown, I ran into Bev, a…

Volume Control

It seemed that all our appliances had broken in…

Winter Migration

We purchased an old home in northern New York…

Finding a Way Out

To keep their active two-year-old from roaming…

Ugly Remark

Rushing to get to the movies, my husband and I…

In Total Control

My family has a tradition of naming the cruise…

Sounding Off

I was with a friend in a café when a noisy…

Unfinished Repairs

My sister Darlene has the courage—but not…