Landlords Hear The Darnedest Things…
Think it’s easy being a landlord? Check out these tenant complaints:
“The toilet is blocked, and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.”
“Fifty percent of the walls are damp, 50 percent have crumbling plaster, and 50 percent are just plain filthy.”
“My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday, and now she is pregnant.”
“I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.”
“I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.”
“It’s the dog’s mess that I find hard to swallow.”
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Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen always wet? Because they are rain deer.
Did you hear that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer never went to school? That's right—he was…
Why does Santa have three garden plots up at the North Pole? That way he can hoe, hoe, hoe!
Who delivers Christmas presents to good little sharks when they're sleeping? Santa Jaws!
What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple.
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Gee, I'll never part with it!
What does December have that other months don't have? The letter D.
What is a lion's favorite Christmas carol? Jungle Bells.
Why did the children call St. Nick "Santa Caus"? Because there was Noël.
What did the reindeer say before telling his joke?This one'll sleigh you!
—Source: Tulsa World
—Source: Charleston Daily Mail
Never eat more than you can lift. —Miss Piggy
I gave my cat a bath the other day ... they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, and it was fun…
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of…
A feminist jumps out of a manhole … oh, and she didn't like that. —Bill Bailey
On January 20, 2009, we watch as President Barack Obama takes the oath of office. We’ve rounded…
Funny, uplifting and silly quotes about this beautiful time of year.
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