Funny Stories

Read funny stories from real people that are short, silly, and instantly shareable.

NEW FUNNY JOKES

"Brought to You by the Division of Vague Announcements"

Heard over the plant’s paging 
system:…

Part-Time Work

Scene: A man applying for credit 
at a…

How to Deal With an Errant Bosom

Recently, a man stopped at my desk at the library…

Smoke 'em if You Got 'em

When I enlisted in my teens, I took up smoking…

The Saddest Story I Know

While at a convention, Bill, Jim, and Scott…

Who Taught You That?

“Give me a sentence about a public servant,”…

"I Was Only Breaking the Law a Little!"

My daughter-in-law was driving on the freeway…

The Magic Penny

We had just finished tucking our five kids into…

Coversation With A Customer-Service Representative:

Me: I have a Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer that…

Overheard At A Zumba Class...

First woman: Look at me—I have 
a muffin…

When A Family Friend Passed Away...

When a family friend passed away, my…

Teenage Wisdom

I mentioned to my sons that some teens used…

Wanted: Human Torch

Who wouldn’t be inspired 
to hire this young…

State of Confusion

Scene: The office Me: We have to submit a form…

Don't Even Ask About Condiments...

Scene: office cafeteria line Friend: May I…

Am I That Tough?

After interviewing a candidate for an open…

Overheard at Our Hospital

Phlebotomist: I’m here to draw some…

A Company by Any Other Name

There was a period when our company’s ownership…

Time Flies

As a flight attendant, I wear a watch with two…

Color Me Stupid

A client walked into my design studio with a…

Tailor-Made Quips

My husband and I couldn’t decide which jacket…

Prepare for Takeoff

My seatmate on a flight was a woman. Ever the…

What About the Other Half?

As the music swelled during a recent wedding…

A Man Walks Into a Barbershop...

A man walks into a barbershop and asks, “How…

Poor word choice, Doc

A doctor sent this note to our medical clinic:…

The New Rules of the Workplace

These office drones know exactly what you’re…

Work is an Onion

Supervisor: This project isn’t something we can…

England's oddest visa requests

It’s Winter break time, and a lot of people…

My cousin once called in sick...

My cousin once called in sick to work because of…

For much of her bartending shift...

For much of her bartending shift, my wife had to…

Doing God's work...sort of

From a church bulletin: “The new parking area…

Our neighbor brought over a delicious...

Our neighbor brought over a delicious homemade…

Dates from Hell

Have a date for Valentine’s Day? Hope it…

"I think there were buildings nearby..."

It’s easy to get disoriented when visiting New…

I was visiting my mother...

I was visiting my mother one day, when she passed…

Not what I meant, guv'na

My daughter said something to me that I didn’t…

Did It Even have Twitter??

I was showing my kids an old rotary phone when my…

A Reluctant Adopter

My grandmother called to tell me she’d gotten…

A Mother’s Lament

Whoever said not to cry over spilled milk has…

The Perils of Vision

“Those frames are so flattering,” 
I…

What a Waste of Time

My nine-year-old and I passed 
a store with a…

A Shady Place

Shortly after my grandmother passed away, I took…

Double Jeopardy

A neighbor’s 44-year-old sister was pregnant…

Phthanks for Trying.

When my husband’s friend gave his order at a…

A Grave Error

Our business relies heavily on abbreviations. For…

Fraction Infraction

One of my fourth-grade students told me he had…

Security to Aisle Three...

From an ad for an acting job: “When we finish…

What's Your Beef?

My grandfather is a meat and potatoes guy. Once…

Coming Down


Our Grand Canyon guide was asked if people…

A Visionary Question...

The traffic light near my street buzzes when…

Flower Therapy

“That’s a nice plant,” said a woman at the…

What’s the 311?

In New York City, if you have a complaint or a…

Thanks, I Think


I recently ran into an old student of mine, who…

Prove It!

Scene: Me at our auto dealership, cold-calling…

How Not to Get Hired

Going in for a job interview? Don’t mess it up…

We All KEA!

My first day on the job at an IKEA store, I was…

Just Turn Them Over...

A woman went into my father’s insurance office…

Definition, Please?

During graduate school, I tutored a football…

The Age-Old Question

Eight fellow accountants and I got into the…

Tooth or Consequences

After cleaning my five-year-old patient’s…

Collateral Damage

As I headed into a liquor store, a colonel came…

Standing Violation

Sign above the toilet in a women’s latrine at…

Forget Everything You Know About Guns

After leaving the Army, I applied for a hunting…

Can You Hear Me Ever?

I could barely understand my client due to a…

Bad Bedside Manner

I recently learned a valuable lesson regarding…

Reading, 'Riting, Regional Dialects

I eavesdropped on two of my language arts…

70 Years Young

When I interviewed for a job six months after my…

Textbook Tongue-Twisters

Our professor had run through some of…

Micro Managing

“What are you doing?” asked my mother after I…

Stiff Offer

Leafing through Madison, Wisconsin’s Capital…

Can You Spare Some Brimstone?

I asked my pastor, “If I don’t quit smoking…

Don't Ax...

A few weeks back, I went to the hardware store…

A Ruff Part of Town

Our normally sweet Great Dane has one quirk: She…

Landlords Hear The Darnedest Things...

Think it’s easy being a landlord? Check out…

The Ship Hits the Fan

My father-in-law asked his wife what he should…

A Meal Fit for a...

My wife is a very adventurous cook. “How does…

Thanks for Trying, Mom.

On my way home from my mother’s, I realized…

Advanced Potty Training

My sister got a call from her son’s…

One Argument for Bachelorhood

When my lifelong-bachelor uncle turned 78, he…

Too Much Fine Print

A customer’s request to the general store in…

Think Globally, Work Scarcely

From the news: “Bob” was considered a star at…

Head In The Clouds

My friend, a flight attendant, asked a…

You Have the Right to Remain Ignorant

Two women came to my photo studio to have their…

Tome Deaf

Bookstore owners share their customers’ oddest…

Don't "Like" and Drive

My neighbor, a police officer, pulled someone…

The Art of Talking

Overheard: a mother bragging about her daughter…

Hometown Hero

I went with a friend to the country to look at a…

Easy Fix!

My sister got a call from a telemarketer who was…

All That For A Latte?

In the British documentary 56 Up, a man shared…

Great, Grandma

While phoning a friend, my grandmother dialed the…

Grab Me a Grande Coffee Table, Too!

On a trip to Sweden, I asked a few people where I…

Typo Through the Tupils

I’m not the easiest guy in the world to get…

Grammar Gripes

A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go…

A Costly Confession

Our minister announced that admission to a church…

Grandma's Mistake

My friend forgot his laptop on the floor of my…

How I Know I Live In A Small Town...

A month ago, my friend announced on Facebook that…

Funny Research

Take heed, scientists: Not every scientific…

A Delicious Mistake

Needing to escape her hectic office, my friend…

Boring Request

The customer ordering a floral arrangement from…