Funny Stories

These hilarious true tales will have you laughing for days

NEW FUNNY JOKES

More Idiotic Job Applicant Blunders

We’ve been over this before: 
Stupid…

Virginal Word Choice

The topic of my student’s essay was the…

Bad Soldier Mistakes

It’s important that soldiers 
learn from…

spel chekers

On Facebook, the English 
language has few…

Toddler Wisdom

Events had left my son-in-
law’s sister…

What Does DUMB Stand For?

While serving jury duty, 
I noticed that the…

One Way To Foil Fridge Thieves

The note left on the office refrigerator was…

Vitamin D(imwit)

Scene: Our break room. Coworker #1 pulls out a…

Bad Soup

The bean soup I’d ordered was mostly water. I…

Family Loopholes

To get my cousin to write to 
her even once, my…

10-Pin Puns

I recently stumbled upon 
my favorite new…

Barbershop Blunders

The barbershop was crowded, 
so the woman at…

Behind The Newsprint

Working for a news organization is a tough job…

No Emergency Exits, Thanks

The flight attendant on our trip was handing out…

Store Hours Are Never

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet…

Fools Brush In

“So what’s that brush for?” the new hire…

My New Power

I bragged to my boss that I didn’t need…

Did You Feel It?

I discovered that I’d spent an hour walking…

King Soloman Jr.

We were reading The Wisdom of King Solomon in my…

Jimmy Fallon Asked For Embarrassing Texts From Moms...

I once got a text from my mom where “You’re…

What's a Hipster?

“What’s a hipster?” asked my four-year-old…

Strain in The Mass

Scene: Sunday mass. I turned to greet an older…

Alphabet Soup or Salad?

At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was…

Fast Friends

My husband was driving 
home from work when he…

That Bug Goes Around

Faculty at our university had to file an…

Photographic Evidence

A customer walked up to my 
bank window and…

Fax To The Future

One of my insurance customers faxed over the…

Can I Do A Trade?

I asked my brother-in-law, the 
father of four…

After The Gold Rush

Asked to pick the worst year 
ever, film…

You Could've Said "Gender"

I was nine months pregnant and browsing at a…

Father of The Bribe

When I announced that I was getting married, my…

Bottom of The Toy Barrel

Here is the best-ever backhanded compliment from…

Kids Marry The Darnedest Things

My young son declared, “When 
I grow up…

Spring Fever

One spring day I was taking the roll in my…

Standby, Soldier

Every Easter our church stages an elaborate…

That Springtime Smell

I had spent the late winter months waiting…

No. 1 on Our List — Literally!

My father was completely lost in the kitchen and…

Paternal Payback

On the day I received my learner’s permit, my…

Pop Vs. Pup

While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas…

Papa Bear

My husband’s cousin married a former Marine who…

What a Card!

Father’s Day was near when I brought my…

Watch the Wash, Dad…

I decided to make myself useful and do a load of…

Say What, Dad?

Our Gen-X daughter, Cristie, made my husband a…

Thanks for the Soda, Pop!

Before I took the old family car to college, my…

The Right Choice

My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with…

Care of The US Military

We were marching to the chow hall when we spotted…

BYOP

My mother was standing on 
the bus when she…

A Sale-A-Day Keeps Quality at Bay

I think I’ve finally decoded the 
language of…

Big Changes in Appleton

A headline in my local newspaper: “Appleton…

I'm on The Eraser Diet!

When I stepped on the scale at 
my doctor’s…

An Elevator Romance

I was alone in an elevator when a girl stepped in…

Testimony Taken Down by Me, 
a Court Reporter:

Question: Now, to the best of 
your knowledge…

There is No Such Thing as a Dumb Question, Except for ...

• I work in IT. A customer asked 
me if a…

Honor Among Thieves

A mother complained to my wife, 
a…

A Home Affair

My client buys many rental properties, not always…

"Brought to You by the Division of Vague Announcements"

Heard over the plant’s paging 
system:…

Part-Time Work

Scene: A man applying for credit 
at a…

How to Deal With an Errant Bosom

Recently, a man stopped at my desk at the library…

Smoke 'em if You Got 'em

When I enlisted in my teens, I took up smoking…

The Saddest Story I Know

While at a convention, Bill, Jim, and Scott…

Who Taught You That?

“Give me a sentence about a public servant,”…

"I Was Only Breaking the Law a Little!"

My daughter-in-law was driving on the freeway…

The Magic Penny

We had just finished tucking our five kids into…

Coversation With A Customer-Service Representative:

Me: I have a Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer that…

Overheard At A Zumba Class...

First woman: Look at me—I have 
a muffin…

When A Family Friend Passed Away...

When a family friend passed away, my…

Teenage Wisdom

I mentioned to my sons that some teens used…

Wanted: Human Torch

Who wouldn’t be inspired 
to hire this young…

State of Confusion

Scene: The office Me: We have to submit a form…

Don't Even Ask About Condiments...

Scene: office cafeteria line Friend: May I…

Am I That Tough?

After interviewing a candidate for an open…

Overheard at Our Hospital

Phlebotomist: I’m here to draw some…

A Company by Any Other Name

There was a period when our company’s ownership…

Time Flies

As a flight attendant, I wear a watch with two…

Color Me Stupid

A client walked into my design studio with a…

Tailor-Made Quips

My husband and I couldn’t decide which jacket…

Prepare for Takeoff

My seatmate on a flight was a woman. Ever the…

What About the Other Half?

As the music swelled during a recent wedding…

A Man Walks Into a Barbershop...

A man walks into a barbershop and asks, “How…

Poor word choice, Doc

A doctor sent this note to our medical clinic:…

The New Rules of the Workplace

These office drones know exactly what you’re…

Work is an Onion

Supervisor: This project isn’t something we can…

England's oddest visa requests

It’s Winter break time, and a lot of people…

My cousin once called in sick...

My cousin once called in sick to work because of…

For much of her bartending shift...

For much of her bartending shift, my wife had to…

Doing God's work...sort of

From a church bulletin: “The new parking area…

Our neighbor brought over a delicious...

Our neighbor brought over a delicious homemade…

Dates from Hell

Have a date for Valentine’s Day? Hope it…

"I think there were buildings nearby..."

It’s easy to get disoriented when visiting New…

I was visiting my mother...

I was visiting my mother one day, when she passed…

Not what I meant, guv'na

My daughter said something to me that I didn’t…

Did It Even have Twitter??

I was showing my kids an old rotary phone when my…

A Reluctant Adopter

My grandmother called to tell me she’d gotten…

A Mother’s Lament

Whoever said not to cry over spilled milk has…

The Perils of Vision

“Those frames are so flattering,” 
I…

What a Waste of Time

My nine-year-old and I passed 
a store with a…

A Shady Place

Shortly after my grandmother passed away, I took…

Double Jeopardy

A neighbor’s 44-year-old sister was pregnant…

Phthanks for Trying.

When my husband’s friend gave his order at a…

A Grave Error

Our business relies heavily on abbreviations. For…