Holiday Jokes

Celebrate the holidays all year long with these funny holiday jokes.

NEW FUNNY JOKES

A Colorful Diet

My parents used to stuff 
me with candy when I…

The Better Paleo Diet

I’m on the Paleo diet, 
except I’m the…

You Are What Your Eat

I used to love the candy Nerds, but I stopped…

A Holiday Quiz

“Pretend to be someone you’re 
not, and…

I'm a Busy Ghost, People

People always ask kids the same stupid questions…

A Fun-Size Quibble

When it comes 
to candy bars, the term…

Standby, Soldier

Every Easter our church stages an elaborate…

Part-Time Work

Scene: A man applying for credit 
at a…

No Umbrellas at the North Pole?

Q: Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen…

Reindeer Lessons

Did you hear that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer…

Green Thumb?

Q: Why does Santa have three garden plots up at…

Great White Christmas

Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to good little…

Oh, iGet It

Q: What do you get when you combine a Christmas…

Laughing All the Way!

Q: What is a lion's favorite Christmas…

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

Q: Why did the children call St. Nick "Santa…

Open Mic Night at the North Pole

Q: What did the reindeer say before telling his…

Christmas in Eden

Q: What did Adam say the day before…

Gift of The Magi?

This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend that…

The Oy of Giving

A mother gave her grown son two sweaters for…

'Tis The Season...Isn't It?

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you…

Alternate History

My mother cast one of her students as the…

Second Thoughts

In fourth grade, my son had a huge crush on a…

Mothers' Confessions

Mother's Day is nigh, so we're loath to say this:…

The Best Man

My son Timothy was his brother's best man. To…

Gift From Dublin

A Dubliner proposes to his girlfriend on Saint…

Cupid

I don't know why Cupid was chosen to represent…

Entrance to Heaven

Three men die on Christmas Eve and go to heaven…

Into the Church

Three buildings in town were overrun by…

Interesting Gifts

For Christmas, I gave my kid a BB gun. He gave me…

Birthday Greetings

Greeting Cards: When you care enough to send the…

Honest Questions

Two kids are on their way to Sunday school when…

Different Easter

Just before Easter I remarked to my husband that…

Look-a-Likes

My sister was busy getting ready to host our…