Office Jokes

It's all in a day's work to share these funny office jokes, puns, and laughs.

NEW FUNNY JOKES

"Who Doesn't Love Pork Fat?"

Boss to underling: “When I 
told you that you…

Idiots Abroad

The British foreign office helps Brits traveling…

Miles and Gigabytes Away

Right now, I’m at work, using the Internet. But…

Bad Typos in Real Newspapers

We all make mistakes. Some 
are just more…

Yo Quiero a Clean Criminal Record

Scene: Me driving by a Taco Bell. Sign: Now…

Our Office Needs a 3D Printer

Our boss asked the new mail-room guy to make…

Shane. My Office. Now.

Shane works in the deli department of a large…

Heading Off Criticism

Think the comments on Internet posts are tough?…

More Idiotic Job Applicant Blunders

We’ve been over this before: 
Stupid…

What Does DUMB Stand For?

While serving jury duty, 
I noticed that the…

The One About The Stand-in Gorilla

When a zoo’s gorilla dies, the zookeeper hires…

One Way To Foil Fridge Thieves

The note left on the office refrigerator was…

Vitamin D(imwit)

Scene: Our break room. Coworker #1 pulls out a…

Urine Trouble Now

An irate patient called our 
pathology group…

Sweet and LOL

When my customer ordered 
iced tea, I asked…

The Maximum-Security Bathroom

If a company’s most valuable 
resource is its…

A Method to His Mitchness

The late comedian Mitch 
Hedberg said that he…

Behind The Newsprint

Working for a news organization is a tough job…

Store Hours Are Never

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet…

Fools Brush In

“So what’s that brush for?” the new hire…

Hunter, Gatherer, Manager?

I’m pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when…

My New Power

I bragged to my boss that I didn’t need…

The Only Qualification...

The only qualification for working at an airline…

Psyched Out

I spent four years in 
college. I didn’t…

Call Waiting

My favorite part of the 
conference call was…

That Bug Goes Around

Faculty at our university had to file an…

Photographic Evidence

A customer walked up to my 
bank window and…

Fax To The Future

One of my insurance customers faxed over the…

Six Dumb Questions Real 
Lawyers Asked In Court

“How many times have you 
committed…

Bitter? No!

Not the people who posted this sign at a…

Put It On My Tab

One of the joys of working is 
the opportunity…

Lower Your Ears

Haircuts are great because I did none of the work…

Overly-Honest Grad Papers

Graduate school students 
spend a lot of effort…

An Elevator Romance

I was alone in an elevator when a girl stepped in…

Weird Help Wanted

• Waitress wanted. Must be 18 years old with 20…

A @#$%^& by Any Other Name

Tired of referring to your bosses with the same…

Business Signs of The Times:

Spotted on a restaurant’s website:…

Testimony Taken Down by Me, 
a Court Reporter:

Question: Now, to the best of 
your knowledge…

There is No Such Thing as a Dumb Question, Except for ...

• I work in IT. A customer asked 
me if a…

Honor Among Thieves

A mother complained to my wife, 
a…

I Don't Say "Hey" Pro Bono

A lawyer e-mailed a client: “Dear Jennifer:…

New From the China National Tourism Administration...

The China National Tourism Administration has…

"Brought to You by the Division of Vague Announcements"

Heard over the plant’s paging 
system:…

Department of (Ridiculous) Corrections

Journalists and editors on deadline make the…

Part-Time Work

Scene: A man applying for credit 
at a…

How to Deal With an Errant Bosom

Recently, a man stopped at my desk at the library…

PowerPoint: the Program You Love to Hate …

• Were Moses alive today, the Ten Commandments…

The Saddest Story I Know

While at a convention, Bill, Jim, and Scott…

Coversation With A Customer-Service Representative:

Me: I have a Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer that…

The One About The Fishermen and The Angel

Three guys are fishing when an angel…

Wanted: Human Torch

Who wouldn’t be inspired 
to hire this young…

State of Confusion

Scene: The office Me: We have to submit a form…

Don't Even Ask About Condiments...

Scene: office cafeteria line Friend: May I…

Am I That Tough?

After interviewing a candidate for an open…

Overheard at Our Hospital

Phlebotomist: I’m here to draw some…

A Company by Any Other Name

There was a period when our company’s ownership…

Time Flies

As a flight attendant, I wear a watch with two…

Color Me Stupid

A client walked into my design studio with a…

Poor word choice, Doc

A doctor sent this note to our medical clinic:…

The New Rules of the Workplace

These office drones know exactly what you’re…

Work is an Onion

Supervisor: This project isn’t something we can…

England's oddest visa requests

It’s Winter break time, and a lot of people…

My cousin once called in sick...

My cousin once called in sick to work because of…

A Grave Error

Our business relies heavily on abbreviations. For…

Tip from an Office Drone

I just set my e-mail’s auto-response to…

Fraction Infraction

One of my fourth-grade students told me he had…

Job Candi-dolts

Doing your best not to join 
the workforce?…

Security to Aisle Three...

From an ad for an acting job: “When we finish…

Things Could Get Graphic

If you’re a freelance graphic designer, the…

Teach A Man to Kvetch...

Comedian Daniel Tosh is no fan 
of the…

What’s the 311?

In New York City, if you have a complaint or a…

Thanks, I Think


I recently ran into an old student of mine, who…

Prove It!

Scene: Me at our auto dealership, cold-calling…

How Not to Get Hired

Going in for a job interview? Don’t mess it up…

First Step's A Doozy

Mike went into work an hour late, his face…

Can You Hear Me Ever?

I could barely understand my client due to a…

70 Years Young

When I interviewed for a job six months after my…

Bosses Say the Darnedest Things

Here are actual comments bosses made to employees…

Hush, Little Actuary

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and…

Job Security

Reddit.com asked workers: What is rule number one…

Happy Birthday, Valued Employee!

My boss gave me a generic birthday card. It read…

Think Globally, Work Scarcely

From the news: “Bob” was considered a star at…

What I Call "an Idiot."

Scene: Office Suit: Do you have what I call a…

Can I Speak To Dad?

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local…

I Don't Know, Let Me Ask My Manager

Yesterday, a guy came up to me at work and said…

Good Qualities

We asked prospective job applicants at our…

Is the Client Always Right?

A graphic designer on the phone with his…

Drug Dealer?

My brother delivered prescriptions to people too…

How to Ruin an Interview

When you're interviewing for a job, you want to…

Sensitive Employee

To show his appreciation, a newly hired Japanese…

Strengths and Weaknesses

A job applicant was asked, "What would you…

True Tweet

A truer tweet has never been tweeted: "4:30…

Weirdest Interview Questions

Job hunting is stressful enough without having to…

Harshest Incentive

A candy company’s sales team was promised a…

Meeting Time

Meetingboy.com invites viewers to gripe about…

Overconfidence

My sister Angela was impressed by a job…

Global Companies

After receiving the umpteenth late-night…

The Right Experience?

Someone advertising on Craigslist said she was…

Good Experience

When a woman applies for a job at a citrus grove…

With Regular Use

When asked her opinion on punctuality, an…