Office Jokes

It's all in a day's work to share these funny office jokes, puns, and laughs.

NEW FUNNY JOKES

Total @mateur

A client called my help desk saying she…

And That's The Way it is

Any time a person with a journalism degree writes…

That Sounds Exhausting

My granddaughter was 
graduating from college…

The Best Legal Advice Ever...

...was spotted on a billboard ad for the law…

Real Excuses Tenants Gave for Not Paying Rent

• “I have to make payments on my BMW and…

How Not to Get a Teaching Job

An applicant for an open 
teaching job…

Wanted: Cemetery Superintendent

“Now hiring,” read the classified ad…

Ken Jennings on Dog Walkers

My favorite game  is “Professional Dog Walker…

Un-intelligent Design

We were making leaflets for a 
local church…

Stephen Colbert on Internships

Try an internship! Internships give you all the…

The Weirdest Summer Job Ever

Being a lifeguard is a weird summer job for a…

Lifeguards vs. Life Coaches

L.A. public pools don’t have…

My First Job...

I got my first full-time job, but I could have…

Worst Insurance Claims Ever

If you were an auto insurer, would you have paid…

Time to Reboot...

My husband was at a dinner with colleagues, and…

She Must Not've Read It...

While teaching at a veterinary college, I ordered…

Tattoo 'Tude

A friend of mine works at a tattoo shop. A client…

Tickle-Me Manager

My boss was watching a video of his son. I heard…

The Tax Man Cometh

A last-minute filer walked into our state income…

Hot-Crossed Pastors

When my husband, James Rowles, was in the…

Dog on The Job

Sometimes I like to sit my dog down for a…

Never Talk About Religion at Work

Religion is generally a verboten topic for…

Wrong Store, Buddy

Scene: Inside a Best Buy store. Customer: Can…

Colonoscopy Small Talk

Colonoscopies are important medical procedures…

What's Your Definition of "Woman"?

Request from a client: “For the ad, use a stock…

Weirdest Craigslist Post Ever?

Looking for a job? Here’s one posted on…

Is Your Boss This Dumb?

While taking stock of our 
products, I read…

Eggxclaimed in the Office

Employee #1: I wouldn’t eat caviar. That’s…

Bad Work Excuses

Thinking of skipping work? Don’t try these real…

PLEASE Don't Administer Orally

My teenage patient’s mother was concerned…

Which West is that?

“Why did you choose a college so far from…

Snappy Answers to Bad Résumés

Professionals at the staffing agency Robert Half…

It Beats a Board Meeting

The office Christmas party 
is a great…

The Wrong Language

I tried to explain to a client why I couldn’t…

A Fax?

You’re sending me something via fax? What is…

A Late Graduation

At the age of 55, I finally got 
my…

Taken For a Ride

From a passenger of the Vacaville, 
California…

Like Flower, Like Bud

As I entered the elevator 
at our hospital, a…

Well, That's a Creative Answer...

A student seeking a job at our university was…

Incumbent Imbecile

Recently I heard the former mayor of Reading…

"Oh, and It Doesn't Have Arms or Legs."

A woman called the Colorado State Division of…

Start With a 5K...

One of our interns asked 
another if she was…

"Who Doesn't Love Pork Fat?"

Boss to underling: “When I 
told you that you…

Idiots Abroad

The British foreign office helps Brits traveling…

Miles and Gigabytes Away

Right now, I’m at work, using the Internet. But…

Bad Typos in Real Newspapers

We all make mistakes. Some 
are just more…

Yo Quiero a Clean Criminal Record

Scene: Me driving by a Taco Bell. Sign: Now…

Our Office Needs a 3D Printer

Our boss asked the new mail-room guy to make…

Shane. My Office. Now.

Shane works in the deli department of a large…

Heading Off Criticism

Think the comments on Internet posts are tough?…

More Idiotic Job Applicant Blunders

We’ve been over this before: 
Stupid…

What Does DUMB Stand For?

While serving jury duty, 
I noticed that the…

The One About The Stand-in Gorilla

When a zoo’s gorilla dies, the zookeeper hires…

One Way To Foil Fridge Thieves

The note left on the office refrigerator was…

Vitamin D(imwit)

Scene: Our break room. Coworker #1 pulls out a…

Urine Trouble Now

An irate patient called our 
pathology group…

Sweet and LOL

When my customer ordered 
iced tea, I asked…

The Maximum-Security Bathroom

If a company’s most valuable 
resource is its…

A Method to His Mitchness

The late comedian Mitch 
Hedberg said that he…

Behind The Newsprint

Working for a news organization is a tough job…

Store Hours Are Never

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet…

Fools Brush In

“So what’s that brush for?” the new hire…

Hunter, Gatherer, Manager?

I’m pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when…

My New Power

I bragged to my boss that I didn’t need…

The Only Qualification...

The only qualification for working at an airline…

Psyched Out

I spent four years in 
college. I didn’t…

Call Waiting

My favorite part of the 
conference call was…

That Bug Goes Around

Faculty at our university had to file an…

Photographic Evidence

A customer walked up to my 
bank window and…

Fax To The Future

One of my insurance customers faxed over the…

Six Dumb Questions Real 
Lawyers Asked In Court

“How many times have you 
committed…

Bitter? No!

Not the people who posted this sign at a…

Put It On My Tab

One of the joys of working is 
the opportunity…

Lower Your Ears

Haircuts are great because I did none of the work…

Overly-Honest Grad Papers

Graduate school students 
spend a lot of effort…

An Elevator Romance

I was alone in an elevator when a girl stepped in…

Weird Help Wanted

• Waitress wanted. Must be 18 years old with 20…

A @#$%^& by Any Other Name

Tired of referring to your bosses with the same…

Business Signs of The Times:

Spotted on a restaurant’s website:…

Testimony Taken Down by Me, 
a Court Reporter:

Question: Now, to the best of 
your knowledge…

There is No Such Thing as a Dumb Question, Except for ...

• I work in IT. A customer asked 
me if a…

Honor Among Thieves

A mother complained to my wife, 
a…

I Don't Say "Hey" Pro Bono

A lawyer e-mailed a client: “Dear Jennifer:…

New From the China National Tourism Administration...

The China National Tourism Administration has…

"Brought to You by the Division of Vague Announcements"

Heard over the plant’s paging 
system:…

Department of (Ridiculous) Corrections

Journalists and editors on deadline make the…

Part-Time Work

Scene: A man applying for credit 
at a…

How to Deal With an Errant Bosom

Recently, a man stopped at my desk at the library…

PowerPoint: the Program You Love to Hate …

• Were Moses alive today, the Ten Commandments…

The Saddest Story I Know

While at a convention, Bill, Jim, and Scott…

Coversation With A Customer-Service Representative:

Me: I have a Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer that…

The One About The Fishermen and The Angel

Three guys are fishing when an angel…

Wanted: Human Torch

Who wouldn’t be inspired 
to hire this young…

State of Confusion

Scene: The office Me: We have to submit a form…

Don't Even Ask About Condiments...

Scene: office cafeteria line Friend: May I…

Am I That Tough?

After interviewing a candidate for an open…

Overheard at Our Hospital

Phlebotomist: I’m here to draw some…

A Company by Any Other Name

There was a period when our company’s ownership…

Time Flies

As a flight attendant, I wear a watch with two…

Color Me Stupid

A client walked into my design studio with a…