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Lawyer Jokes

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A Little Too Literal

If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what?

Attorney: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Attorney: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
Witness: "Guess."

Attorney: "Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight."

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Long Tour of Duty

I work in a courthouse, so when I served jury duty, I knew most of the staff. As I sat with other…

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A Little Too Literal

If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. But as these court…

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Roll Call

I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of burglary, when the judge asked everyone to…

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The First Case

An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer…

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Court of Less Appeal

Justice isn't just blind—it's snickering at these real courtroom give-and-takes: Judge (to…

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Frame of Reference

When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the…

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The Judgement

After I prosecuted a man for killing a bird out of season with his slingshot, the court clerk…

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Protesting Too Much

Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm's client denied the allegations. So when the victim…

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Usual Suspect

While prosecuting a robbery case, I conducted an interview with the arresting officer. My first…

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Running the Show

I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security. As part of my job, I explain court…