Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen always wet? Because they are rain deer.
Did you hear that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer never went to school? That's right—he was…
Why does Santa have three garden plots up at the North Pole? That way he can hoe, hoe, hoe!
Who delivers Christmas presents to good little sharks when they're sleeping? Santa Jaws!
What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple.
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Gee, I'll never part with it!
What does December have that other months don't have? The letter D.
What is a lion's favorite Christmas carol? Jungle Bells.
Why did the children call St. Nick "Santa Caus"? Because there was Noël.
What did the reindeer say before telling his joke?This one'll sleigh you!
—Source: Fox 8 Cleveland
—Source: The Daily Herald (Provo, Utah)
Another old saying is that revenge is a dish best served cold. But it feels best served piping hot…
Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch. —Jon Stewart
I don't know if you've ever had only five dollars in the bank, but guess what–you can't get it…
I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon. —Ellen…
Maybe fear is God's way of saying, "Pay attention, this could be fun.” —Craig Ferguson
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR execs. —Daniel J. Boorstin
You get all excited to give her the ring, and it's real emotional, and you give it to her, and she…
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes, and six months later you have to start…