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Marriage Jokes

Laugh at the funny side of being together with these jokes about marriage.

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For Richer and For Poorer

"When I married Donna, I could get both hands around her waist," said my husband’s grandfather. Pointing at his full-figured wife, he boasted, "Now look how much I got. That’s what I call an investment!"

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Facebook Love

My ex and I had a very amicable divorce. I know this because when I wrote the Facebook status "I'm…

76%
Winning Numbers

Q: Why does a man twist his wedding ring on his finger? A: He's trying to figure out the…

71%
One and Only

During a heartfelt chat with her friend about relationships, my wife sighed and said, "You know, if…

60%
Love and Learning

Overheard at my garden-club meeting: "I never knew what compost was until I met my husband."

11%
In Training

I identify with football players because I know what it's like to spend your whole life training…

96%
For the Mrs?

Even though there was a blizzard raging outside, I made it the half-mile to the bakery, where I…

88%
The Right Diagnosis

A man tells his doctor that he’s incapable of doing all the things around the house that he used…

89%
What's That Smell?

For a romantic touch, I washed our sheets with lavender-scented detergent. When my husband got into…

96%
Years of Romance

Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at…

95%
Sailing vs. Shopping

After we had lunch with another couple, the women went shopping, and the men opted to go sailing…