Political Jokes
Flex your political humor with our collection of funny political jokes.
No matter what side of the aisle you sit on, these political jokes will have you rolling down it. Choose from voting puns to election jokes for a great laugh from all sides.
Kitty Communist
Q: Who is the leader of the Kitty Communist Party?
A: Chairman Meow.
Q: Who is the leader of the Kitty Communist Party?
A: Chairman Meow.
Man vs Man
Q: What is the difference between capitalism and socialism?
A: In a capitalist society, man exploits man, and in a socialist one, it’s the other way around.
Q: What is the difference between capitalism and socialism?
A: In a capitalist society, man exploits man, and in a socialist one, it’s the other way around.
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Red Flags
Q: How did we know communism was doomed from the beginning?
A: All the red flags.
Q: How did we know communism was doomed from the beginning?
A: All the red flags.
Proper Tea
Q: Why do Communists drink herbal tea?
A: Because proper tea is theft.
Q: Why do Communists drink herbal tea?
A: Because proper tea is theft.
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…And Your Little Blog, Too!
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You Get What You Pay For
Cut and Run
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Speak Softly, Kick Gently
Five-Finger Flip-Flop
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Click Here for History
You Don’t have to Go Home, but You Can’t Govern Here
Lampooning Lance
Roe v. Wade
The Difference Between Republicans and Democrats
"You're at 31 degrees, 14.57 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude," he replies.
"You must be a Democrat."
"I am. How did you know?"
"Because everything you told me is technically correct, but the information is useless, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've been no help."
"You must be a Republican."
"Yes. How did you know?"
"You've risen to where you are due to a lot of hot air, you made a promise you couldn't keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."
17 Political Jokes
1. Layered Government Our government always struck me as having many layers. But I no longer think that, not after this e-mail from an associate in another country: "I demonstrated the product to the Minister of Defiance and his Chief of Stuff."
2. Time to Go The huge backlog in the doctor's waiting room was taking its toll. Patients were glancing at their watches and getting restless. Finally one man walked to the receptionist's station and tapped on the glass. She slid back the window back, saying, "Sir, you'll have to wait your turn." "I just had a question," he said dryly, "Is George W. Bush still President?" 3. Unlikely Meeting Moses was walking down the street when he bumped into George W. Bush. "Hello," Bush said. "Nice weather we're having, huh?" Moses took one look at the President, turned, and ran in the other direction. The next day Moses was walking down the same street and there was Bush. Again he tried to initiate a conversation. Again Moses turned and ran away. Bush was tired of this bizarre treatment, so the next time Moses ran away from him, Bush followed. When he caught up, he asked Moses what was wrong. Moses said, "The last time I talked to a bush I spent 40 years in the desert." 4. Mouse Trap My brother Jim was hired by a government agency and assigned to a small office cubicle in a large area. At the end of his first day, he realized he couldn't see over the panels to find his way out, so he waited until he saw someone else leaving and followed him. He did the same the next day. On the third day he had to work late, long after his colleagues had left. He wandered around lost in the maze of cubicles and corridors, but then, just as panic began to set in, he came upon another employee in a cubicle. "How do you get out of here?" Jim asked. The fellow looked up from his desk, smiled and said, "No cheese for you." 5. New Viruses Coming to a hard drive near you, the worst computer viruses yet: AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you're getting. MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Paul Revere Virus: Warns of impending hard disk attack -- once if by LAN, twice if by C:>. Politically Correct Virus: Never calls itself a "virus." Instead, it's an "electronic microorganism." Government Spokesman Virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine. 6. New Federal Employee As a new federal employee, I felt a combination of excitement and anxiety about meeting the strict standards of discretion and respect that our government imposes on its workers. Fearful of making a costly mistake, I decided to read up on procedures and standards on the federal Office of Personnel Management web page. I'm not sure if I was relieved or worried when I clicked on one page and found: "Ethics: Coming Soon!" 7. Sunscreen Mishap My father, a Navy man, had the good fortune to be stationed in Hawaii -- but the bad fortune to have fair skin. One day, after spending many hours under the hot sun, he reported back to duty with a terrible sunburn. Expecting sympathy, he was, instead, reprimanded by his superiors and then written up for "destruction of government property."