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Funny Puns

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Name Game

"You need to be careful when writing comments," our principal told the faculty. He held a report card for a Susan Crabbe. A colleague had written, "Susan is beginning to come out of her shell."

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Replacements

As I helped my elderly neighbor clean out his garage, I stumbled upon an ax in the corner. "That…

64%
Too Short

The insurance industry loves its acronyms. The first time I saw the term proof of ownership was in…

85%
Twitter Addiction

A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I'm addicted to Twitter!" The doctor replies, "Sorry, I…

71%
A Believer

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with the Monkees, I thought she was…

33%
Funny E-Mail

Some people have a knack for remembering faces. Others, according to this e-mail I received at…

100%
Got Change?

Since my purchases came to $19.06, I handed the cashier a twenty."Do you have six cents?"…

91%
Who Will Win?

I was watching a marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another as an egg. I…

100%
A Great Position

One of the less difficult blanks to fill in on our job-agency application is "Position…

71%
Famous Characters

While I was performing in a show outside Chicago, there was a gentleman who could often be found…

75%
Diagnosis

If you are always straightening things, you have OCD. If you are always eating things, you have…