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Religious Jokes

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Wrong Day

Our minister’s sermon was about how the institution of marriage is under assault in popular culture. He cited the show Desperate Housewives .

"How many are going to watch the season finale this week?" he challenged.

When no one raised a hand, he smiled. "Nobody’s willing to admit to being a fan?"

My mom whispered to me, "Actually, the finale was last week."

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A Costly Confession

Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would cost $6 per person…

7%
A Sign From Above

Spotted on a church marquee: "Love your enemies; After all, You made them."

78%
Church Bulletin

As church secretary, I prepare the bulletin for each week’s services. One Sunday morning, I…

87%
Happy Confession

A man with a huge grin approaches a priest. "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” he…

84%
Flip the Switch

After ringing cell phones ruined a service, our rabbi laid down the law in the latest temple…

92%
Exciting Palindromes

The topic for my ninth-grade class was palindromes, words or sentences that are the same read…

87%
House Call

When our minister and his wife visited our neighbor, her four-year-old daughter answered the door…

76%
My Service

Meeting with my new pastor, I asked if I could have a church service when I eventually die…

79%
Confession

En route to church to make his first confession, my nervous seven-year-old grandson asked me what…

44%
Symbolic

Is the chemical symbol for holy water H2Omg?