Losing the Game

Driving home dejected from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, after a Mississippi-Louisiana State college football game that Ole Miss had lost 24-0, I was ignoring the speed limit and, sure enough, a Louisiana patrolman flagged me down. "You’ve got me, Officer," I confessed as I handed him my license. "I was speeding."

The officer confirmed that I was clocked at 72 m.p.h. But as he spoke, I noticed him stealing a peek at my game program and a pair of binoculars on the passenger seat. "Were you down for the big game?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," I replied. The officer then paused for what seemed like an eternity.

"Well," he said finally, "I guess you’ve suffered enough."

I couldn’t believe my good fortune. But as my license was handed back to me, I felt compelled to ask a question. "Officer," I said, "what if Ole Miss had won?"

"I’d have locked you up in a heartbeat," came his reply. "Now keep it under 60!"