Reader Digest Version Global

Valentine's Day Jokes

Make your sweetheart giggle this Valentine's Day with our love-inspired joke collection. Because the only good time for love to hurt is when it's funny enough to split your sides.

See all jokes >>

9 to 5 Love

My husband, a certified public accountant, works 15-hour days for the first few months of the year. In spite of his hectic schedule, he took time out to order me flowers for Valentine’s Day. While pondering what sweet endearment to write on the card, he obviously began thinking of the many hours of work still ahead of him. His note read: “Roses are red, violets are blue. If I weren’t thinking of you, I’d probably be through.”
—Contributed by Cindy Wolf

More funny about: Valentine's Day Jokes

RATE IT

78%

found it funny

You?
  
78%
Devoted and Determined

During World War II my parents had planned a romantic Valentine's Day wedding. Suddenly my father…

81%
Read All About It

Every Valentine's Day our campus newspaper has a section for student messages. Last year my…

90%
Making the Grade

My high-school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard, grader. One day I…

75%
Mower Than a Greeting Card

My friend Mark and I work in a lawn-mower-parts warehouse. Somehow Mark got the idea that his wife…

78%
9 to 5 Love

My husband, a certified public accountant, works 15-hour days for the first few months of the year…

25%
Pastoral Passion

The lingerie store where my aunt works was crowded with shoppers selecting Valentine's Day gifts…

100%
Sweet Nothings (.com)

My boyfriend Hans and I met online. After dating a long time, I introduced him to my uncle, who was…

90%
Check Out a Romance

I met my husband while I was working in a science library. He came in every week to read the latest…

80%
A Little Nuts About Love

Driving through Southern California, I stopped at a roadside stand that sold fruit, vegetables and…

40%
Perfectly Paired Puns

As Valentine's Day approached, I tried to think of an unusual gift for my husband. When I…